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Nurturing Potential Through Mentorship

Aug9

Silas Bamigbola

In the heart of an underserved town in the north, where dreams often struggle to find wings, I once stood with untapped potential pulsating within me. Little did I know that the key to unlocking my abilities was held by the hands of those who would become my mentors. These remarkable individuals stepped into my life, transforming my trajectory, and guiding me towards a brighter future.

As I journeyed through my teenage years, a figure emerged who would alter the course of my life. My chemistry teacher during my SS2 class, was not merely an educator but a catalyst for change. With unwavering belief, he shattered the limitations I had unknowingly placed on myself. Through his guidance, I discovered that my intelligence transcended local boundaries; I had the potential to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with global peers. His words echoed the truth found in Philippians 4:13, reminding me that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Moving into my university years, another mentor graced my path. His influence went beyond the surface; he delved into the realm of purpose and self-assurance. Under his guidance, I unearthed the confidence to embrace my identity as a man. Like a beacon of light, he illuminated the path towards my purpose, urging me to take bold steps. It was under his encouragement that I birthed my first literary creation, a chapbook named “Lost Boys,” a collection of heartfelt poems. This experience echoed the sentiment of Proverbs 27:17, underscoring the importance of iron sharpening iron in the pursuit of personal growth.

Reflecting on these transformative mentorship encounters, I realize that the concept of a self-made man is a fallacy. We are vessels, meant to be filled by the wisdom and guidance of those who have walked the path before us. A mentor’s influence is akin to pouring water into parched soil, nourishing our potential and helping us blossom.

In a world that often emphasizes individualism, the significance of mentorship remains steadfast. Every successful individual has been shaped by the wisdom and support of mentors. The ropes of life are intricate and can be treacherous to navigate alone. A mentor, a steady hand to guide, becomes a lifeline in times of uncertainty.

Consider the benefits of a mentor, akin to a compass that points towards your true north. A mentor provides a roadmap, drawn from their experiences, failures, and victories. They offer insights that textbooks and lectures cannot encapsulate. From professional advice to personal growth, a mentor can illuminate a holistic path towards becoming the best version of oneself.

As you contemplate your journey, remember the timeless wisdom of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, which extols the virtues of companionship: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Embrace mentorship not as a sign of weakness, but as a beacon of strength, a testament to your commitment to growth.

In conclusion, my life’s trajectory was forever altered by the presence of mentors who recognized my potential, nurtured my aspirations, and ignited the flame of purpose within me. Just as iron sharpens iron, so do mentors sharpen their mentees. Break free from the illusion of self-sufficiency; seek out a mentor and embrace the transformative journey they offer. In this shared expedition, you will uncover your boundless potential and pave the way for a future illuminated by guidance, faith, and growth.

The Struggle

Jul19

Silas Bamigbola

This struggle is akin to a bloodthirsty, parasitic leech that gradually drains a person’s vitality and creativity, transforming their mind into a pawn at the mercy of its master. This pawn is controlled remotely, manipulated to sink deeper into a quagmire that taints their thoughts with filth.

If one battles with pornography, their devices have undoubtedly captured their face, identifying them as a frequent consumer of explicit content. There is even a specific satellite channel that airs pornographic films every Saturday morning around 12 am, and you happen to be an avid viewer.

Over time, the destructive habit of masturbation has clung to you like a dreadful tribal mark, causing remorse for the circumstances that led you to indulge in such behaviour. Each opportunity seized, you gave in to the act, attempting to prove your prowess as a devoted student of the “school masters” (porn stars) and their art.

Pornography has the power to drain the best parts of a person, leaving them entranced, hypnotized, and ensnared in a web of mental chaos. It subjugates you to the point that instead of focusing on important matters or the word of God during moments of solitude, your mind fixates on the explicit content you have consumed. Passing women become triggers, turning your thoughts into a soap opera replaying illicit and amusing scenarios.

When this issue becomes a problem and an addiction, you realize that you are up against a formidable opponent. As the saying goes, “If your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Sadly, you have subjected your eyes to corrupting materials, and despite your efforts, you have been unable to break free from their grip. Frustration and self-disgust have overtaken you.

I understand that feeling, my brother. I truly do. It is a journey and know what it means to want to win.

But take solace in the fact that Jesus Christ, who understands our weaknesses, sacrificed himself for us. We can approach him just as we are, and the healing process will begin. It won’t be easy because we may stumble and fall many times, but even in our moments of weakness, we can cling to Him and trust Him. Through prayer, the word of God, meditation on His teachings, and having a supportive community that holds us accountable, we can overcome. That is:

  • Seek Support and Accountability: Reach out to trusted friends, counsellors, or support groups for guidance and accountability.
  • Establish Healthy Habits: Replace unhealthy behaviours with positive activities such as exercise, hobbies, and learning new skills. Create a routine that promotes personal growth and reduces idle time.
  • Utilize Technology Tools: Install content filtering software, enable parental control settings, and consider utilizing accountability software to track online activities with a trusted partner.
  • Prayer and Meditation: Engage in prayer and meditation as a means of finding inner strength, seeking guidance, and cultivating a closer connection with a higher power. Set aside time for reflection, self-discovery, and spiritual growth.

Watching pornography is an insult to our minds. God has blessed us with our minds so that we can use them to think and imagine, foster change, generate great ideas, and find solutions. Tainting our minds with repugnant imagery blinds us, stunts our growth, and hinders our path to success.

Silas Bamigbola (Originally written in 2017)

Self-Controlled Men

Jul5

Silas Bamigbola

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, it is more important than ever for us to reflect on our values and strive to be self-controlled individuals. Lately, the Nigerian Twitter space has been plagued with scandals of men who betray their wives through infidelity, while society often turns a blind eye or even accepts such behaviour. However, as men, we must understand that faithfulness and self-control are virtues that define our character and honour our responsibilities. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of self-control and discuss practical ways we can cultivate faithfulness in our lives.

Embracing Our Divine Calling:

As young men, it is essential to anchor our beliefs and actions in a higher purpose. In the Holy Scriptures, God calls upon us to be self-controlled and faithful. Proverbs 25:28 reminds us, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Similarly, Galatians 5:22-23 highlights the importance of self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit. By embracing our divine calling, we can develop the strength to resist temptations and uphold our commitments.

Recognizing the Fallacy of Excuses:

Society often perpetuates the misguided notion that men are inherently polygamous and therefore bound to cheat on their partners. However, it is crucial to challenge such misconceptions. True strength lies in exercising self-control, resisting the allure of momentary gratification, and prioritizing our commitment to our loved ones. While external influences may present various temptations, we have the power to make conscious choices based on our values and principles. Excusing infidelity only perpetuates a culture of betrayal, undermining the trust and stability within our relationships.

Building a Foundation of Trust:

To be self-controlled men, we must recognize that trust forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Infidelity erodes trust and breeds insecurity, leading to pain and discord. Therefore, we must prioritize open communication, honesty, and transparency in our interactions with our partners. By consistently demonstrating our faithfulness and reliability, we nurture a bond built on trust. This foundation enables our relationships to flourish, bringing joy, stability, and fulfilment to both ourselves and our loved ones.

Practical Steps towards Faithfulness:

Cultivating self-control and faithfulness requires intentional effort. Here are some practical steps we can take:

1. Define your values: Clearly articulate your personal values and principles, ensuring they align with your commitment to faithfulness.

2. Practice self-reflection: Regularly evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions, identifying areas where you may be vulnerable to temptation.

3. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries within your relationships, ensuring you communicate and respect each other’s needs and expectations.

4. Seek accountability: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who will hold you accountable and support your journey towards self-control.

Dear young men, let us reject the narrative that condones infidelity and embrace our divine calling to be self-controlled and faithful. Upholding our commitments to our partners and ourselves not only brings us closer to God but also strengthens the fabric of our relationships and society as a whole. By actively cultivating self-control, honouring trust, and nurturing open communication, we can become the embodiment of integrity and inspire positive change in our communities. Remember, true strength lies in choosing faithfulness over momentary pleasures and being men of honour who walk in the path of righteousness.

Overcoming Inferiority Complex

Jun28

Opeyemi Obidare

I’d like to begin by stating that nobody is born with an inferiority complex. It is a learned behaviour that can be unlearned and overcome. We shape our persona based on our life experiences, interactions with people, and the environment we find ourselves in. It is highly probable that many individuals are walking around with some form of inferiority complex. I must admit that preparing to write this article has given me the opportunity to reflect inwardly and recognize some of my own feelings of inadequacy.

“The denial of a problem does not erase its existence” – Anonymous

An inferiority complex can manifest itself in various behaviours, such as oversensitivity, seeking attention, having a low sense of self-worth, being submissive, pretending to be someone we’re not, overcompensating, developing a false sense of superiority, procrastinating, striving for perfection, and being excessively judgmental of others.

In a world where societal expectations always exist, the inability to meet these standards, whether reasonable or not, can make anyone feel inferior, particularly when they have exerted effort or witnessed others achieving them. This sense of inferiority may eventually evolve into a complex.

At this point, a man who has experienced repeated failures begins to replace “I had a failure” with “I am a failure,” “a missed call” with “I am alone in the world.” It only worsens from there, as thoughts find expression in actions, and the actions resulting from negative thoughts are predictable.

Now that we have established that societal expectations are a significant cause of an inferiority complex, I dare say that no man can excel in everything. There will always be someone who surpasses you in certain areas. Individuals with an inferiority complex tend to compare themselves to the best in a particular field, even though they may be just starting out or have not invested nearly as much time as the top achievers.

Jordan Peterson suggests that, in dealing with an inferiority complex, one should address their most evident shortcomings. Begin with the obstacles that clearly hinder your personal goals, or adjust your goals to align with your capabilities. However, it is important to avoid changing your goals simply because it’s the easier way out. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. You should have a sustainable passion for the goals you choose, or at the very least, enough passion to see them through to fruition.

To summarize, when dealing with an inferiority complex, it is crucial to avoid comparing ourselves to what is considered normal for others. Understand that there can only be one you. Set your own goals based on your values, motivations, and capabilities. Determine your own pace. If you’re dissatisfied with it, take responsibility and make the necessary changes. Adjust your responses, shape your environment, be open, and be honest.

In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that an inferiority complex is an indication that something is amiss. It serves as a sign for you to reevaluate your game plan and make necessary adjustments.

Empowering Growth: Transforming Inferiority Complex

Jun20

Silas Bamigbola

Growing up in an underserved town in northern Nigeria, I experienced firsthand the profound impact of lacking access to relevant knowledge and opportunities. It became apparent to me that this absence crippled my potential, regardless of my innate abilities. The resulting inferiority complex hindered my desire to learn new skills at a young age. However, I realized that by intentionally exposing myself to opportunities, I could transform my low inferiority complex into personal growth and turn my disadvantage into an advantage.

Embracing the Desire for Personal Growth:

To overcome a low inferiority complex, it is crucial to nurture a genuine desire for personal growth. Recognize that your background or circumstances do not define your worth or limit your potential. Embrace the belief that with dedication and perseverance, you can acquire the knowledge and skills needed to thrive in any field.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset:

A growth mindset is a powerful tool in combating inferiority complex. Embrace the belief that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and learning. Celebrate failures as opportunities for growth and view challenges as stepping stones toward personal development. By adopting a growth mindset, you will empower yourself to overcome limitations and embrace continuous self-improvement.

Seeking Relevant Knowledge and Opportunities:

Take deliberate steps to seek out knowledge and opportunities that can expand your horizons. Read books, attend seminars, and engage in online courses to enhance your understanding and acquire new skills. Seek mentors or role models who can guide you on your journey and provide valuable insights. Actively participate in networking events and engage with individuals from diverse backgrounds to broaden your perspective.

Building a Supportive Community:

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who inspire and uplift you. Seek out communities that foster positive and empowering conversations. By connecting with others who have similar experiences or aspirations, you can share stories, exchange ideas, and support one another on the path to personal growth. Building a supportive community helps to alleviate feelings of inferiority and provides a safe space for open dialogue.

Embracing Challenges and Celebrating Progress:

Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone and take on new experiences. Each small achievement contributes to building confidence and self-belief. Recognize and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Embracing challenges and celebrating personal growth will gradually diminish feelings of inferiority and empower you to reach new heights.

Conclusion:

Transforming a low inferiority complex into personal growth requires intention, effort, and a commitment to self-improvement. By nurturing a desire for personal growth, cultivating a growth mindset, seeking relevant knowledge and opportunities, building a supportive community, and embracing challenges, young men can overcome their inferiority complex and harness their innate abilities to achieve success. Remember, your background does not dictate your future; it is your determination to grow that propels you toward greatness.

🔥 Bros! Howfar? Join us for our Monthly Hangout on Saturday, 24th June 2023, from 7:30 pm to 8:30 pm! 🗓️

📣 Theme: Inferiority Complex

💬 An open conversation for guys and all things men. We want to foster dialogue.

📍 Venue: Join us on our Telegram page to connect and discuss. Let’s create a safe space for open and meaningful conversations.

🌟 Spread the word and invite more people to join our vibrant community on Telegram!

Embracing Your Worth

Jun14

Silas Bamigbola

Dear Young Men of Our Generation,

In a world where expectations loom large, it’s no wonder that many of us find ourselves grappling with feelings of inferiority. The pressure to succeed financially and meet societal standards has led some to desperate measures, like engaging in cybercrime (yahoo) or rushing through life’s processes. But we must realize that our worth is not defined by external factors. We have the power to rise above these challenges and embrace our true purpose. Let’s explore some strategies to overcome an inferiority complex and discover a path of self-assurance.

1. Recognize the Power of Individuality:

Each one of us is unique, with our own set of talents, passions, and dreams. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, let’s focus on nurturing our abilities. Understand that true success lies in discovering and developing your authentic self. Embrace your strengths, hone your skills, and pursue your own unique path.

2. Shift Your Perspective:

Rather than being weighed down by the expectations of society or even the opinions of others, shift your focus inward. Take the time to understand your purpose and passions. What brings you joy? What impact do you want to make? By aligning your actions with your values, you’ll find greater fulfilment and a sense of purpose that transcends comparison.

3. Cultivate a Supportive Circle:

Surround yourself with positive influences who uplift and inspire you. Seek out mentors, friends, or family members who believe in your potential. Their encouragement and guidance will help you build confidence and overcome self-doubt. Remember, iron sharpens iron, and having a strong support system can make a world of difference.

4. Embrace Growth and Learning:

Instead of rushing through life’s processes, give yourself permission to grow and evolve at your own pace. Understand that success is not an overnight achievement but a journey of continuous improvement. Invest in personal development, acquire new skills, and expand your knowledge base. Seek wisdom from trusted sources, both secular and spiritual, such as the timeless teachings found in the scriptures.

In Matthew 6:26, Jesus reminds us, “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” This verse serves as a powerful reminder that our worth transcends material possessions and societal expectations.

Remember, dear young men, you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your individuality, and pursue your purpose with passion. Release the burden of comparison, for it hinders growth and robs you of joy. Instead, focus on your progress and the positive impact you can make in the world.

In conclusion, overcoming inferiority complex is a process that requires self-reflection, resilience, and support. By embracing your worth, shifting your perspective, cultivating a supportive circle, and committing to growth, you can break free from the shackles of comparison. Rise above societal expectations, honour your purpose, and journey towards a life of fulfilment and contentment.

You have the power within you, dear young men, to create a better world—one where self-assurance and purpose prevail. Embrace this truth and run with it.

With heartfelt encouragement,

Silas

How To Break Free From Inferiority Complex 

Jun7

Raymond Oluwalola

Growing up, I can think of many moments when I wished I was White, not as a colour but as a race. The world I believed in was from movies (I watched many), made me resent a part of my existence that I was Black, and to make matters worse, that I was Nigerian.

If we are not careful, there is an inferiority complex that may descend upon us earlier on in life and make us resent where we are from, who we were born to, and how we have come to grow up, and the list is endless.

For most of us, these feelings of insecurity and insufficiency (such as being unable to reach an intended goal) are highly situational or occasional. When they arise, we may, for example, brood about them for a time and then move on, deal with them by reminding ourselves that we have other strengths, or use them as motivation to master the underlying problem, says James E. Maddux, PhD, psychologist and author of Subjective Well-Being and Life Satisfaction and coauthor of Psychopathology: Foundations for a Contemporary Understanding.

‘Complex’ refers to a mental state made up of different emotions, and ideas and is completely different from the ‘feeling of inferiority.’

Feeling inferior is a fleeting feeling and allows you to look beyond your imperfections and strive for growth. It also refers to the state when you say that ‘Had this happened/not happened, I would have achieved this/that.’

Had I thought that since ‘I am a guy from the wrong country or race, I could never be respected or even noticed in society,’ is what can be referred to as an inferiority complex?

These complexities that we suffer from can come in different form and shape like your voice isn’t good enough, your food is tasteless, your cultural background is weird, you are not as civilized as others, not as attractive, not as intelligent, and so on, so forth.

When you give an excuse for not doing something, that’s when you should know that it’s not normal, and need to be worked on. While an inferiority complex blocks you and makes you curse everything around you when the problem is not the environment but ‘You’.

Society may have been psychologically conditioned to make us feel like that – interiorization tactics are mainly used to convince their victims that they are oppressed, but we need to understand that society plays a big part in making us feel inferior. We can break free from this complex. To feel inferior, we do not need to feel worthless, to kill our spirit, or keep us down as well as others around us.

I may have grown up to love who I am now, but it has not always been so. I’m not going to lie and act like the thought of changing my race and culture hasn’t crossed my mind. Most people may not know this is happening, but as they grow, they subliminally suffer from something that may be telling them that something or someone better is out there.

Realize that you are not alone. Apparently, this is a bad place to be, but here is a suggestion, “Give importance to your identity, including your height, weight, skin colour, and features, as well as your thoughts, dreams, family, and knowledge. These elements create you and make you an individual.

Another proven technique that could help is to talk to somebody – seek help and look for a community that can help you grow – don’t sit in idleness and wallow in self-pity, it does not help. Lastly, you can turn to the scriptures, look for and gather words that describe you and how you want to see yourself, and let them be your words of affirmation.

The more you keep reading and meditating on those words, the more you believe them, and the more it redefines how you see and perceive yourself.

In case you need somebody to talk to or need somebody to speak to a group of boys on this topic, you can reach out to us at thebridgehub27@gmail.com.

Embrace Your Manhood: Unleashing Your Purpose as a Man

May31

Silas Bamigbola

In a world where men often navigate through societal expectations and conflicting messages, it becomes crucial for them to actively embrace their manhood with a clear understanding of their purpose. By tapping into their divine calling, men can unlock their potential, become beacons of strength, and positively impact their communities. This article aims to guide men on their journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of actively understanding their purpose and how it can transform them into the men God intended them to be.

1. Acknowledge the Source of Purpose:

The first step in embracing manhood is recognizing that God, the author of our lives, holds the key to our purpose. Seek a deeper relationship with Him through prayer and scripture, and discover that Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Understand this truth to align your life with God’s plan and unleash your true potential.

2. Discover Your Unique Design:

Realize that you are intricately designed by God with unique gifts, talents, and passions. Explore your interests and reflect on what brings you joy and fulfilment. Romans 12:6 affirms that “we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us.” Identify and develop your God-given abilities to serve others and make a meaningful impact.

3. Live Out Your Purpose:

Understanding purpose is just the beginning; it must be actively lived out. Embrace your role as a leader, protector, and provider in your families, workplaces, and communities. Galatians 6:10 encourages us to “do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Actively seek opportunities to serve and make a positive difference, fully embracing your manhood and contributing to the well-being of others.

4. Overcome Challenges:

The journey of embracing manhood and living out your purpose is not without challenges. You may face societal pressures, personal doubts, or setbacks along the way. However, with faith and perseverance, you can overcome these obstacles. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Rely on God’s guidance and seek support from like-minded individuals to stay on course and fulfil your purpose.

Conclusion:

Embracing manhood is a transformative journey that begins with actively understanding your purpose. Recognize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and embrace your unique design. Live out your purpose with confidence, knowing that you have a divine calling waiting to be fulfilled. By seeking God’s guidance and relying on His strength, unlock your full potential and become the solution your communities need. Let us encourage men to actively embrace their manhood, knowing that they have a purpose to fulfil and a world to impact.

We Are Closing In!

Apr26

Silas Bamigbola

Every man reaches that point when he stops and wonders, “What should I do now? How can I be a better man — to my woman, family, and friends — and how can I navigate this situation better?” It’s a universal experience, but paradoxically, the answer is not so easily found. We are rarely taught how to become the best version of ourselves, particularly when it comes to being men. 

Join this men’s conference, a place where men can come together to learn, explore, and grow. The conference is an amazing opportunity for men to unlock their potential, gain insight into themselves, and connect with each other on a deeper level. 

At the conference, attendees will be able to connect with other men from all walks of life, from different parts of the country, and from various backgrounds and perspectives. The conference offers something for everyone, from insightful talks by leading experts to interactive discussions on men’s issues. Attendees can learn about topics such as how to be better sons, better husbands, and better fathers. Also, you will learn about communication, relationships, health, and personal development – everything needed to build a strong foundation for the modern man. 

Moreover, the conference is a space where men can feel free to speak openly and honestly about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. There’s no judgment here; no one will be judged or graded on their performance or ability. The primary goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where men can come together, share, learn, and celebrate each other. 

The conference offers a valuable and necessary forum for deepening understanding and fostering meaningful dialogue. The discussions and activities done at the conference can help men recognize, accept, and embrace the differences between them. By cultivating acceptance and understanding, the conference will enliven and empower men to become the best versions of themselves. 

With the conference, men can take control of their lives and become the men they want to be. So don’t miss out on this opportunity to grow, learn, and celebrate the modern man. Join this men’s conference and start the journey of self-discovery and personal growth today! 

The registration link is provided below:

Theme: Saviours; Exploring God’s Purpose for Men

Date: April 28th – 30th

Time: 7:00 – 8:30 pm daily

Venue: Google Meet

Registration Link: Register Here.

Speakers: Rev’d Dr. Jerry Akinsola, Mathew Femi-Adedoyin, and Tolu Akande.

See you there!