Honouring Our Fathers

Silas Bamigbola

Many of us saw our fathers as heroes while we were growing up. We honoured them and saw them as the ultimate goal because of their presence, provision, and sacrifices for us. As time goes on, we may realize some inconsistencies that make them less perfect than we thought. Do we still honour and respect them? Seeing our fathers’ imperfections and yet honouring them is a challenge many men face.

One of Noah’s sons, Ham, saw his father’s nakedness and went to tell his brothers. Instead of honouring him and covering it, he made jest of his father. In contrast, Shem and Japheth honoured their father and covered his nakedness. As a result, Ham was cursed. This story teaches a profound lesson about honour and respect (Genesis 9:20-27). It emphasizes the importance of protecting our fathers’ dignity, even when we see their flaws.

Sons who do not know how to honour their fathers will not find it easy to navigate life. Honour is a foundational principle that influences our character and relationships. Ephesians 6:2-3 states, “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” This commandment underscores the significance of honouring our parents as a cornerstone for a blessed life.

Many of our fathers, even those in the faith, might have some inconsistencies and weaknesses. We must not dishonour them or think we know more than they do. Respecting our fathers does not mean ignoring their faults but recognizing their humanity and the roles they have played in our lives. Proverbs 20:20 warns, “If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” This verse serves as a stark reminder of the consequences of disrespect.

How to Honour Our Fathers

1. Acknowledge Their Efforts: Appreciate the sacrifices and efforts they have made for your well-being. Express gratitude for the ways they have supported and provided for you.

2. Show Compassion and Understanding: Understand that your father is human and has his own struggles and weaknesses. Show empathy and patience when dealing with his shortcomings.

3. Communicate Respectfully: Speak to your father with respect and kindness, even when you disagree. Constructive communication helps maintain a healthy relationship.

4. Follow Their Guidance: Recognize the wisdom in their experiences and teachings. Even if you choose a different path, value the lessons they have imparted.

5. Support Them in Old Age: Just as they cared for you when you were young, be there for them in their later years. Offer emotional, financial, or physical support as needed.

Honouring our fathers is not about ignoring their flaws but about respecting them despite their imperfections. It is about valuing their role in our lives and upholding the principle of honour that enriches our character and relationships. By doing so, we fulfill a divine commandment and build a legacy of respect and reverence for future generations.

The Power of Honour

In the ancient days of Israel, there was a powerful prophet named Elijah, known for his miraculous deeds and his deep connection with God. Among his followers was a young man named Elisha, who desired more than just to follow in Elijah’s footsteps—he wanted a double portion of Elijah’s spirit. This desire led to one of the most compelling stories of honour in the Bible.

As Elijah’s time on earth drew to a close, Elisha remained steadfast by his side, refusing to leave him even when urged to do so. This unwavering commitment paid off. When Elijah was taken up to heaven in a whirlwind, Elisha received his request, symbolized by the falling of Elijah’s mantle. This story beautifully illustrates the profound impact of honouring those who have gone before us.

In today’s society, the concept of honour seems to be fading. We live in a generation where many people fail to respect and honour those who have paved the way for them. Honour is a fundamental character trait that every person must cultivate. Without it, we miss out on the wisdom and virtues that can only be gleaned through genuine respect and admiration for others.

Elisha’s story is a powerful reminder that if we wish to receive wisdom and virtue from others, we must learn to honour them and what they carry. Honour is not just about respect; it’s about recognizing the value in others and the contributions they have made to our lives and society.

Consider the words of Proverbs 15:33: “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honour.” This verse highlights the relationship between humility and honour. To truly honour someone, we must humble ourselves, recognizing that we have something to learn from them.

Another pertinent scripture is Romans 12:10, which says, “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.” This verse encourages us to go beyond mere respect; we should actively seek to honour others more than they honour us.

Reflecting on the story of Elijah and Elisha, we see that Elisha’s honour for Elijah was not merely verbal but demonstrated through his actions. He followed Elijah to the very end, showcasing a commitment that went beyond words. This act of honour resulted in Elisha receiving a double portion of Elijah’s anointing, a tangible reward for his unwavering respect and dedication.

In our own lives, if we wish to grow and receive wisdom from those around us, we must adopt a similar attitude. Honour is the gateway to learning and receiving. When we honour others, we open ourselves up to receive the wealth of knowledge and experience they have to offer.

Honour is a vital attribute that we must cultivate. It goes beyond mere respect to a deeper appreciation and recognition of others’ worth and contributions. By honouring those who have gone before us, like Elisha did with Elijah, we position ourselves to receive greater wisdom and virtues. Let us strive to outdo one another in showing honour, embracing humility, and recognizing the value in everyone around us.

Identifying a Wise Man

Victoria Bamigbola

A wise man is identifiable by his consistent alignment with the truths he has internalized over time. Unlike many today who live their lives guided by worldly wisdom, which often disregards scriptural principles, a truly wise man anchors his life in reverence to God and His words. This alignment is deeply ingrained in his daily living and choices.

In a world driven by fleeting trends and shallow knowledge, a wise man stands out by his commitment to God’s truths. His wisdom is not shaped by societal whims but by the saving principles found in scripture. This steadfastness sets him apart as he lives in a manner reflecting his core values and beliefs.

One hallmark of a wise man is his desire to impart wisdom to others. True wisdom is never selfish; it seeks to enlighten and uplift those around. A wise man understands the value of the truth he possesses and feels a responsibility to share it, contributing to the betterment of his community and other men around. Living as though your world counts means recognizing that your actions and words can profoundly influence others. This awareness drives the wise man to live authentically and generously, making a positive impact on those around him.

Wisdom is not merely about speaking the truth but embodying it. The essence of a wise man is his ability to live out the truths he professes. This integrity gives his words weight and his actions credibility. It is easy to talk about principles and values, but it takes true wisdom to live them out consistently. The example that a wise man sets for others to follow is his life, which bears witness to the truths that he values.

Deciding to be wise is a conscious choice anyone can make. The word of God is a powerful source of wisdom, offering guidance and insight for those willing to seek it. Immersing oneself in scripture imparts the wisdom needed to navigate life’s complexities with grace and discernment. This divine wisdom forms the foundation upon which a wise man builds his life, ensuring that his decisions and actions align with the truth of God’s word.

The company you keep plays a significant role in shaping your wisdom. Surrounding yourself with wise and principled individuals can greatly influence your own growth in wisdom. Just as iron sharpens iron, interacting with those who value and live by truth refines your understanding and application of wisdom. Choosing your companions carefully is crucial, as they can either elevate your wisdom or lead you astray.

Furthermore, the materials you consume in media significantly impact the level of wisdom you exhibit. In an age where information is readily available, discerning what to absorb is essential. Engaging with content that promotes wisdom, truth, and integrity enhances your understanding and practice of these values. Conversely, consuming frivolous or misleading content erodes your capacity for wise living.

Ultimately, living as though the wisdom of God is upon you means making deliberate choices that reflect His principles. Strive to embody the truths of scripture in every aspect of life, from the company you keep to the media you consume. By aligning your life with these truths, you can walk the path of wisdom and inspire others to do the same. Wisdom is not an abstract concept but a tangible way of living that brings light and clarity to a world often clouded by confusion and falsehood. Choose to live wisely, and make your life a beacon of truth and integrity.

FOR THE BOYS: We also need mentors.

Silas Bamigbola

We were boys bearing our fathers’ names, 

Looking for how to create names for ourselves. 

We knew not the way through this ancient terrain; 

We wandered off

And drifted away
Getting lost at night under bridges.

Antique boys who have become men
Were cruel enough not

To delineate maps for us, that we may use 

Through this rollercoaster ride.
Yesterday I asked a supposed ‘sage’

How he did it?
He babbled
And shrugged me off.

We are still driving through this tumultuous route 

Who will lead us?
Who will tell us the stories of
‘When men were boys’

I wish our elderly male
Will become a light
And carry us on their wings
And tell us tales of how they survived.

Live as a Wise Man

Silas Bamigbola

I once had a friend who basked in the attention of numerous admirers, particularly because of his striking looks. It seemed like an enviable position to be in, with ladies vying for his affection even in our school days. Yet, amidst the allure of such attention, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was wisdom to be found elsewhere, beyond the fleeting pleasures of superficial attraction. As the saying goes, you only find ants in sugary things.

In the Book of Proverbs, we are cautioned against living senselessly and succumbing to the allure of promiscuity. Proverbs 7 paints a vivid picture of the consequences of such folly, warning against the path of the foolish who are ensnared by the temptations of promiscuous behaviour. It’s a sobering reminder that true wisdom lies not in indulging every desire but in exercising restraint and discernment.

Moreover, Proverbs 31 exhorts men not to squander their strength on fleeting pleasures, including the pursuit of women. Instead, it calls us to channel our energy towards worthy endeavours, aligning ourselves with God’s divine purpose for our lives. There is a profound lesson here for men – to prioritize spiritual and moral integrity over temporary gratification.

Living as a wise man entails more than just avoiding the pitfalls of promiscuity; it requires a commitment to sexual purity and self-discipline. By guarding our hearts and minds against the seductive traps of lust and temptation, we preserve our strength for nobler pursuits. This is not about suppressing our natural desires but rather harnessing them in service of higher ideals.

One key aspect of wisdom is understanding the value of self-control. It’s about mastering our impulses rather than being mastered by them. This is echoed in Proverbs 25:28, which states, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Without self-discipline, we are vulnerable to the destructive forces that seek to undermine our character and integrity.

Furthermore, Proverbs 6:25 advises, “Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.” This verse serves as a reminder to guard our thoughts and desires, resisting the temptation to be swayed by external appearances. True beauty lies not in outward adornment but in the purity of heart and soul.

Living as a wise man means recognizing the inherent dignity and worth of every individual, and treating others with respect and honour. It means honouring commitments, respecting boundaries, and valuing relationships based on mutual trust and integrity. It’s about striving for excellence in all areas of life, seeking to fulfil our potential and contributing positively to the world around us.

In conclusion, to live as a wise man is to embrace the timeless wisdom found in the Book of Proverbs. It’s about cultivating a heart of discernment, a mind of understanding, and a spirit of self-discipline. By following the guidance of Scripture and staying true to our values, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace and integrity. So let us heed the wisdom of the ages and strive to live as wise men, honouring God and pursuing excellence in all that we do.

How to Gain Wisdom as a Man

Silas Bamigbola

I remember the first time I truly fell in love with books. It was during my early days at the university. My passion wasn’t limited to a single genre; fiction, non-fiction essays, and autobiographies all captivated me equally. Initially, this hobby seemed somewhat misaligned with my Engineering studies—often, I found myself setting aside textbooks in favour of these engrossing reads. Despite this, a persistent internal whisper urged me on: “Just keep reading.” This passion led me to spend my pocket money on books—funds I could have otherwise spent on clothes or shoes. At the time, I didn’t fully recognize this as a crucial investment, one that would yield profound dividends well into the future.

The scriptures are clear on the pursuit of wisdom. Proverbs 4:7 advises, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” This echoes the sentiment that the pursuit of wisdom is not just beneficial; it is essential. Another poignant reminder comes from Proverbs 7:4, where wisdom is personified as kin: “Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman.” Such verses underscore a profound truth—wisdom should be as familiar and close to us as our own family.

The fear of the Lord is indeed the beginning of wisdom. This foundational principle is not just about reverence but involves a deep acknowledgement of God’s omnipotence and righteousness. Engaging with God through scriptures and prayer provides the cornerstone for true wisdom.

Beyond spiritual pursuits, wisdom can be gained through practical, every day means:

1. Read Voraciously: Just as my university days of reading broadly across genres enriched my understanding, so too can it enrich yours. Literature opens windows to new perspectives and life lessons, fostering a deeper comprehension of the human experience and the intricacies of the world around us.

2. Learn from Elders: Respect for the aged, especially those who have displayed wisdom, provides invaluable lessons that cannot be gleaned from books alone. Older individuals offer insights drawn from a lifetime of experiences and mistakes. Engaging with them can provide practical wisdom that guides you through your own life’s journey.

3. Seek Divine Guidance(Our relationship with God): As stated in James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” This powerful promise reminds us that wisdom is a gift from God, accessible to those who earnestly seek it through prayer and reflection.

Gaining wisdom is not a passive process but an active pursuit. It involves a combination of dedicated study, respectful learning from those who have journeyed before us, and an ongoing relationship with God. As you stand at the crossroads of countless decisions throughout your life, let wisdom be your guide, ensuring each step is taken with insight and foresight.

Fully Dependent

Silas Bamigbola

Reflecting on my journey through life, I recall a time when I placed unwavering trust in my own intellect and abilities. In secondary school, I often boasted about my academic prowess and reveled in my achievements. Representing my school in various intellectual competitions only fueled my confidence in my cleverness. However, my perception shifted drastically when faced with a pivotal moment during my quest for university admission.

Despite my academic achievements, I encountered a humbling setback when I failed my university entrance exam, known as JAMB, quite miserably. It was a sobering experience that led me to enroll in a pre-degree program as a stepping stone to university admission. This period of trial and uncertainty taught me a profound lesson: the importance of relinquishing self-reliance and placing my trust entirely in God.

“Do not wear yourself out to get rich; do not trust your own cleverness.” – Proverbs 23:4 (NIV)

Scripture reminds us in Proverbs 23:4 not to exhaust ourselves in pursuit of wealth and not to lean solely on our own understanding. This verse serves as a poignant reminder of the dangers of self-sufficiency and the wisdom of depending on a higher power. Through my own journey, I learned that true wisdom lies in surrendering our selfish ambitions and trusting in God’s divine guidance.

As men, we must embrace the wisdom of dependence on God. Rather than relying on our own strengths and strategies, we must humbly submit to His will. This surrender does not signify weakness but rather strength in acknowledging our limitations and recognizing God’s sovereignty.

Trusting in God alleviates the burdens of life’s challenges. He leads us on paths beyond our comprehension and provides us with the necessary tools and resources to fulfill His purpose for our lives. Scripture assures us in Isaiah 40:31 that those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The journey of life is fraught with obstacles, but those who place their trust in God find strength to overcome adversity. As young men, it is easy to succumb to fatigue and falter in the face of challenges. However, those who anchor their faith in God rise above limitations and soar to new heights.

In our pursuit of success and fulfillment, let us not forget the foundational principle of wisdom: dependence on God. He bestows upon us the wisdom to navigate life’s complexities and the strength to endure its trials. As wise men, let us heed the timeless counsel of Scripture and entrust our lives to the One who holds our future in His hands.

Embrace the wisdom of dependence on God. Surrender your ambitions, trust His guidance, and witness the transformative power of faith. You are a wise man when you depend on God.

Wise Men

Silas Bamigbola

In life, there are moments when we look back and wish we had possessed the foresight to make better decisions. Those instances where a lack of understanding or wisdom led to unnecessary struggles or challenges. How many times have we found ourselves in situations where a little more insight could have spared us from the toll of our ignorance? Indeed, the pursuit of wisdom is crucial, especially for those who aspire to lead fulfilling lives.

The scriptures urge us to embrace wisdom, to regard it as a cherished companion. Proverbs 7:4 reminds us to say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and to insight, “You are my relative.” This metaphorical language emphasizes the intimate relationship we should cultivate with wisdom. It’s not merely a passing acquaintance but a close confidant, deserving of our pursuit and admiration.

God himself encourages us to seek wisdom earnestly. James 1:5 reassures us that if we lack wisdom, we need only ask, and it will be given to us generously, without reproach. This divine promise underscores the importance of humility in the quest for wisdom. It requires acknowledging our limitations and recognizing the need for guidance beyond our own understanding.

Humility, often misunderstood as weakness, is, in fact, a cornerstone of true strength. It allows us to set aside our ego and open ourselves to learning and growth. As the proverbial saying goes, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 9:10). This fear is not about cowering in terror but rather about approaching life with reverence and awe, acknowledging our place in the grand scheme of things.

In embracing humility, we acknowledge that we do not have all the answers. We accept that there is wisdom to be gained from those around us, regardless of their station in life. The wise do not seek to dominate but to understand. They recognize that true wisdom lies not in the accumulation of knowledge but in the application of it for the betterment of oneself and others.

It is through humility that we become receptive to the lessons life has to offer. We learn from our mistakes, recognizing them not as failures but as opportunities for growth. Humility enables us to listen more than we speak, to observe more than we judge. It fosters empathy and compassion, qualities essential for building meaningful connections with others.

Moreover, humility opens the door to collaboration and cooperation. It acknowledges that no one person has all the answers and that we are stronger together than we are apart. When we approach life with humility, we invite others to join us on the journey, pooling our collective wisdom for the greater good.

In conclusion, the power of humility cannot be overstated. It is the key that unlocks the door to wisdom, guiding us on the path to success and fulfillment. By embracing humility, we position ourselves to receive the insights and understanding necessary to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. So let us strive to be wise men, humbly seeking knowledge and wisdom in all we do.

​​How To Love Your Woman Right

Stephen Jerubba’al

You know it was Mothers’ Day some days ago, and in the light of the love we have for them, many men sought to know how to treat their women right. Yet, amidst the plethora of advice and tips on this, one timeless truth reigns supreme: to truly love your woman right is to understand her personal rhythm and dance to its beat. Welcome to this brief journey of discovery, as we dive into the art of loving your woman with grace, authenticity, and unwavering passion. So, gentlemen, buckle up! (PS: While this really directly talks about those who are married, the singles but engaged can draw out insight to implement also)

In the amazing journey of relationships especially marriage, the love between a man and a woman is a reflection of the divine love that binds us all. As Christian men, it is our calling and privilege to love our wives in a manner that mirrors the unconditional love of Christ for His church. To love your woman right is to embark on a journey of selflessness, humility, and unwavering commitment, guided by the principles of faith and compassion.

First, loving your woman right begins with understanding and cherishing her as a precious gift from God. Each woman is fearfully and wonderfully made, endowed with unique qualities, strengths, and vulnerabilities. Take the time to truly know her, not just as your wife or woman, but as a beloved daughter of God. Embrace her individuality and celebrate the beauty of her soul, recognizing that she is a reflection of God’s grace and love in your life.

Communication lies at the heart of every meaningful relationship, and marriage is no exception. We are called to communicate with our wives in an honorable manner that reflects Christ’s love and compassion. Make time for heartfelt conversations, listening attentively to her thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Endeavor to create a safe and nurturing space where she feels valued, heard, and understood. Speak words of affirmation and encouragement, uplifting her spirit with the power of your love and support. Let your communication be seasoned with grace, kindness, and humility, as you strive to build a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

It is also essential to recognize and honor the sanctity of your wife’s emotions and needs. We are called to love our wives so much and it is expected to come with sacrifice and selflessness. You should interestingly be attuned to her emotional space, offering comfort and solace in times of distress and rejoicing in moments of joy and triumph. Cultivate empathy and compassion, walking alongside her in the highs and lows of life’s journey. Show her grace and forgiveness, as the time goes knowing that she is not perfect. Let your love be a beacon of hope and healing, illuminating her path with the light of God’s unfailing love.

Again, loving your woman right entails honoring and respecting her as an equal partner in your marriage. As a man, you should lead her with humility and servanthood, as it is obvious that at the heart of true leadership is service. Be of help as you grant her insight into her decision-making processes. Hey man! Be her staunchest advocate and fiercest supporter, championing her dreams and aspirations with unwavering devotion. Also, you should learn to treat her with dignity and respect, affirming her worth as a beloved child of God. Let your actions speak louder than words, demonstrating your love through acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, and selflessness.

Ultimately, to love your woman right is to embody the essence of Christ’s love in your marriage or premarital relationship. Let your love be a reflection of God’s boundless grace and mercy, extending forgiveness, compassion, and understanding at every turn. May your marriages and relationships be a testament that love can be so detailed, and yet simple, shining brightly as a light and inspiration to all who witness it.

And Hey! It’s Women’s History Month. Don’t just read. Go and practice!

Embrace Humility, Build Legacy

Adeyinka Boluwatife

Humility is a state of being meek and low-minded. In the world, it is often referred to as “stoop to conquer.” Through humility, individuals can learn from those above and beneath them, establishing a platform for the effective absorption of virtues, influence, and impact on both ends as values are exchanged.

As men and leaders in our homes, the instructional guide is the Bible, commanding us to be humble and not to think highly of ourselves, as stated in Romans 12:3 KJV: “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” Every person possesses gifts in varying measures according to the grace given by God. To thrive and appreciate the diverse gifts of others, humility is essential, as even God humbles those with a proud look. Humility fosters a welcoming demeanor, enabling us as men to fit into any environment to both serve and be served, ultimately earning great honor.

The adage “A tree doesn’t make a forest” and the biblical notion that unless a wheat of corn dies, it abides alone (John 12 vs 24) emphasize the importance of overcoming high thinking and self-sufficiency. By doing so, men become open to recognizing the supportive people placed in their lives, building a strong heritage and community for future generations. Humility is crucial for seeking help from trusted men, especially in facing challenges that may lead to destructive behaviors if left unaddressed.

In various communities, including the black community, individuals may succumb to challenges instead of seeking help. Pride, which can manifest in shame, hindering one from asking for assistance, is one to be addressed quickly when noticed; this means we must assess ourselves and recognize the root of our pride. Drawing inspiration from Jesus Christ, who despite being the Son of God despised the shame, went through the cross, interacted with sinners, and cultivated disciples to fulfill his ministry: this shows humility is a virtue every man must possess as it is a fruit of the spirit of God. This virtue facilitates meaningful connections and relationships with individuals of value, both on higher and lower pedestals in life, bridging the gap of insufficiency and equipping individuals to handle life’s challenges effectively.

In conclusion, this underscores that humility is not a sign of weakness but a virtue indispensable for meaningful connections and relationships. In the tapestry of life, humility emerges as the thread that weaves together men of different pedestals, skills, and knowledge and bridges the gap of insufficiency, equipping them to navigate life’s challenges together and effectively. It is a call to embrace humility not only as a personal attribute but as a societal ethos that contributes to the flourishing legacy of men who have withstood hard times, navigating it by seeking the hand of fellow men and creating a safe space for younger generations to look upon.