Honouring Our Fathers

Silas Bamigbola

Many of us saw our fathers as heroes while we were growing up. We honoured them and saw them as the ultimate goal because of their presence, provision, and sacrifices for us. As time goes on, we may realize some inconsistencies that make them less perfect than we thought. Do we still honour and respect them? Seeing our fathers’ imperfections and yet honouring them is a challenge many men face.

One of Noah’s sons, Ham, saw his father’s nakedness and went to tell his brothers. Instead of honouring him and covering it, he made jest of his father. In contrast, Shem and Japheth honoured their father and covered his nakedness. As a result, Ham was cursed. This story teaches a profound lesson about honour and respect (Genesis 9:20-27). It emphasizes the importance of protecting our fathers’ dignity, even when we see their flaws.

Sons who do not know how to honour their fathers will not find it easy to navigate life. Honour is a foundational principle that influences our character and relationships. Ephesians 6:2-3 states, “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” This commandment underscores the significance of honouring our parents as a cornerstone for a blessed life.

Many of our fathers, even those in the faith, might have some inconsistencies and weaknesses. We must not dishonour them or think we know more than they do. Respecting our fathers does not mean ignoring their faults but recognizing their humanity and the roles they have played in our lives. Proverbs 20:20 warns, “If someone curses their father or mother, their lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.” This verse serves as a stark reminder of the consequences of disrespect.

How to Honour Our Fathers

1. Acknowledge Their Efforts: Appreciate the sacrifices and efforts they have made for your well-being. Express gratitude for the ways they have supported and provided for you.

2. Show Compassion and Understanding: Understand that your father is human and has his own struggles and weaknesses. Show empathy and patience when dealing with his shortcomings.

3. Communicate Respectfully: Speak to your father with respect and kindness, even when you disagree. Constructive communication helps maintain a healthy relationship.

4. Follow Their Guidance: Recognize the wisdom in their experiences and teachings. Even if you choose a different path, value the lessons they have imparted.

5. Support Them in Old Age: Just as they cared for you when you were young, be there for them in their later years. Offer emotional, financial, or physical support as needed.

Honouring our fathers is not about ignoring their flaws but about respecting them despite their imperfections. It is about valuing their role in our lives and upholding the principle of honour that enriches our character and relationships. By doing so, we fulfill a divine commandment and build a legacy of respect and reverence for future generations.

Equipped Men!

Silas Bamigbola

In our society, we see a multitude of men who are ill-prepared to be the best versions of themselves, husbands, and fathers. It’s a harsh reality that contributes to the existence of many struggling men, husbands, and fathers. The path to becoming a better man lies in being well-equipped, both spiritually and mentally.

The Quest for Equipped Manhood

As a man, your journey toward self-improvement begins with the recognition that there’s more to being a man than meets the eye. My friend Raymond Oluwalola once said, “Silas, God can bring us into our full element as men.” This profound statement holds true for every man, but it necessitates a willingness to go through the process of becoming a well-equipped man.

A Relationship with God

The very first step toward becoming an equipped man is establishing a meaningful relationship with God. Recognize that life is spiritual, and equipping yourself against the plans of the enemy is crucial. Moreover, as a man, you are meant to be a strong foundation and protector for your family. Building a strong connection with God through prayer and studying His word is essential to becoming that unshakable foundation.

Discovering Your Life Purpose

Every man has a unique purpose in life. To fulfill that purpose, you must embark on a journey of self-discovery. This journey may require you to face challenges and make sacrifices, but it is an essential step toward becoming the man you were meant to be. It’s about understanding your calling with the help of God and working tirelessly to fulfill it, setting an example for your family and community.

The Power of Knowledge and Growth

Equipping yourself as a man also involves a commitment to continuous learning and growth. Read books, listen to the wisdom of others, and immerse yourself in educational and transformative materials. Expand your mind and broaden your horizons. By doing so, you’ll gain the knowledge and wisdom necessary to become the man God intended you to be.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the journey to becoming an equipped man is not easy, but it is profoundly rewarding. Start by strengthening your relationship with God, understanding your life purpose, and committing to personal growth. Remember that you have the power to grow and reach your full potential.

Embrace the process of self-improvement and watch as you evolve into the man you were destined to be – a man who not only enriches his own life but also serves as a source of strength, guidance, and inspiration to his family and community.

The path to becoming an equipped man is before you. Take that first step today, and you’ll be amazed at the transformation that unfolds.

The Place of a Father as a Priest of the Home

Silas Bamigbola

You, as a father, occupy a unique and sacred role within your family – that of the spiritual priest of your home. This is a profound responsibility, one that carries immense significance for your family’s well-being and spiritual growth. In this blog post, we will explore your role as the spiritual leader in your household, drawing from the wisdom found in scripture.

Your Role as the Spiritual Overseer:

Your position as a father places you in the role of a gatekeeper for your family’s spiritual journey. While it’s commonly understood that many men seek prayerful women as partners to create a spiritually vibrant home, it’s essential to recognize that your own spiritual leadership is equally vital. Your relationship with God forms the foundation upon which your family’s faith is built.

Lead with the Power of Prayer:

You’ve likely heard children say, “My mother’s prayers keep me going.” But what about your prayers as a father? Don’t underestimate the influence of your own prayers. Your connection with God empowers you to lead your family along the path of righteousness and to cover them with your heartfelt intercession.

The Wisdom of Scripture:

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 (NIV) underscores the weight of your role: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

This scripture emphasizes that you, as a father, must actively instill God’s teachings into your children’s hearts through daily interactions and discussions.

Your Profound Influence:

A 2019 study published in the journal Religious Education revealed that children of born-again Christian fathers had a remarkable 93% chance of becoming born-again Christians themselves. This influence far surpasses the 3% chance for children of non-born-again parents. This study underlines the immense impact fathers have on their children’s faith journeys.

The study found that children of born-again Christian parents were more likely to be born-again Christians themselves, with a 3% chance for children of non-born-again parents, a 36% chance for children of born-again mothers, and a 93% chance for children of born-again fathers. 

-A study published in the journal Religious Education in 2019

Actively Transmitting Faith:

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) further reinforces your responsibility: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This verse highlights that you are entrusted with nurturing your children’s faith and ensuring it aligns with God’s Word.

Your Roles as a Father:

In summary, your roles as a father in the position of the priest of your home are profound and multifaceted:

1. Spiritual Leader: You are the spiritual guide of your family.

2. Prayer Warrior: Your prayers are a powerful shield for your loved ones.

3. Teacher of Faith: You impart wisdom and knowledge about God’s love and commandments.

4. Role Model: You set an example of faith and devotion, demonstrating what it means to live a godly life.

5. Protector: You safeguard your family, both physically and spiritually.

In conclusion, as a father, you play an irreplaceable role as the priest of your home. Embrace this sacred duty with love, dedication, and a deep connection with the Divine. Through your commitment to God, your family, and your role as a spiritual leader, you will create a home where faith thrives, and the presence of God is undeniable, enriching your family’s spiritual journey.

Talks on Fatherhood and Its Benefits

Adeyinka Boluwatife

Fatherhood emerges as a profound and transformative journey, yielding numerous benefits to both fathers and their children. While it certainly presents its share of challenges, the rewards of fatherhood are immeasurable.

Once, I was told fatherhood unfolds as an opportunity for personal growth and development, but I never saw it more clearly than now as I keep growing into a man who would one day lead his home. It is basically leading yourself first and then leading others. Embracing this role of self-leadership necessitates that men assume new responsibilities and roles, fostering heightened self-awareness, patience, and maturity, having to let go of the hard side and pick up a new characterization. Fathers frequently undergo a transformation, becoming more compassionate, understanding, and adept at managing their time and priorities. Their motivation to serve as positive role models for their children propels personal advancement across various facets of life. One of the most remarkable merits of fatherhood manifests in the profound emotional bond that crystallizes between fathers and their offspring. This bond evolves through shared experiences, love, and unwavering care. Fathers who actively engage with their children from birth craft enduring connections that significantly contribute to the emotional well-being of their offspring. Studies corroborate that children who benefit from the involvement of their fathers often exhibit heightened self-esteem, improved social skills, and enhanced emotional intelligence.

For example, as a child, I saw my father intentionally build a connection with my brother and me. We played basketball games together, tried out restaurants nearby, cooked together, and also took pictures.

I have also become a keen observer and a natural security expert, which has heightened my intelligence, taking note of body language and glances of people, which has saved me from danger in most cases.

Also, fatherhood reverberates to the broader societal well-being. Fathers play a pivotal role in the socialization and spiritual upbringing of their progeny as authority figures, imparting stability, giving affirmation to what God has spoken about them, and blessing in spiritual strength through prayer to battle the woes in their generation. This involvement diminishes the likelihood of delinquency and behavioural issues in the children’s lives. Extensive research has underscored that children reared with actively engaged fathers tend to excel academically and are at reduced risk of substance abuse or criminal activities.

In addition to these emotional and social benefits, fatherhood confers tangible health advantages. Fathers who partake in regular physical activities with their children typically lead more active and healthier lives. They emerge as exemplars of wholesome living, thereby influencing their children’s lifestyle choices and contributing to the healthiness of future generations. Moreover, studies postulate that engaged fathers are prone to experience lower levels of stress and enjoy superior overall mental well-being.

Financially, fatherhood often catalyzes career advancement and fiscal stability. The responsibility of providing for a family galvanizes fathers to pursue career opportunities with heightened diligence. The aspiration to afford a comfortable life for their children fuels their propensity to make judicious financial decisions and investments, potentially securing long-term fiscal stability. I saw my dad do this for five decades, giving it his all, laying an example for us to follow, studying hard overnight to meet the next position, and it sure did pay off as I have carried on with the same pursuit in life. Hard work and diligence with the work of their hands are part of the core values every father should pass on to their children.

Furthermore, fathers make substantial contributions to the equitable division of labour within households. In the ever-evolving landscape of gender roles, a growing number of fathers are actively participating in childcare and household tasks. This paradigm shift not only nurtures a sense of parity and partnership with their spouses but also empowers women to pursue their careers and personal aspirations.

Over the years, we have heard of the term “Alpha Male,” which has boxed in most men and is characterized by men not being able to clean up, do laundry, or even fix up a meal for their home. But in recent times, men have taken the posture of being comprehensive because that is what the world needs. My dad helped me learn this, which has helped me on the journey of being a comprehensive man.

In today’s diverse and dynamic society, regardless of the family configuration, the benefits of fatherhood remain unwavering, underscoring the significance of a father’s emotional presence and active involvement in their child’s life.

In summation, fatherhood bestows a multitude of advantages that ripple beyond the individual, positively impacting families and society at large. It facilitates personal growth, cultivates emotional bonds, and contributes to the physical well-being of fathers, all the while nurturing the wholesome development of children and the overall welfare of communities. As the roles and expectations of fathers continue to evolve, society increasingly recognizes and celebrates their indispensable contributions to the well-being of their children and the broader community. Fatherhood, with its blend of challenges and joys, emerges as a transformative journey that unequivocally enriches the lives of those who embark upon it.

Go Forth, Saviours!

Silas Bamigbola

There have been many instances where I have found myself in situations where the only thing that can help me out is more knowledge. Hence, I know the importance of arming yourself with the right knowledge for life. Last weekend at the Men’s Conference was another one of those opportunities to gain valuable insights and become a better man. It was a time filled with golden treasures and an immersive experience that left a lasting impact.

Tolu Akande, one of the speakers, enlightened us on the significance of sonship in the lives of growing men. He emphasized that every man needs a father figure to whom he can be accountable. While it’s not to say that individual men cannot navigate life without one, having a father figure is essential. Tolu stressed the importance of submission and accountability in our lives as men. He explained that the father-son relationship is instructional, and the process of sonship is based on imitation.

The timeliness of Tolu’s exposition in the world we live in cannot be understated. As Tolu rightly said, “Sonship is God’s method for raising men who will administer His eternal plans on earth.” Let’s take a moment to reflect on this statement and ask God to help us become better sons of Him and our earthly father figures.

On the second day of the conference, Matthew Femi-Adedoyin took us on a journey to discover how we can become better husbands. He emphasized that the role of a husband is to be the chief servant of the family. We should strive to be like Jesus, a good and faithful husband, rather than following in the footsteps of Adam, the husband who allowed sin into the world. Matthew also highlighted the importance of appreciating our wives’ strengths and leveraging them, as it demonstrates our value for them. We were given practical advice on how to become total husbands.

During Sunday night’s session, Daddy Akinsola explored the topic “God’s Purpose for Men as Fathers.” It was an impactful session where Daddy explained that being a father is more than being a sperm donor or a breadwinner. He enlightened us on the multifaceted role of a father. Fathers are starters, triggering the process; they are refiners, developing raw materials; and they are links, connecting the past with the future. As a father, one is responsible for living and leading in ways that effectively transmit beliefs, values, and treasures to the next generation. Daddy emphasized that God desires children who are saved, sensible, skilful, and stable.

We are grateful for your presence and your contribution to the success story of the Men’s Conference. Thank you for yielding and making yourself available to be blessed. It was an honour to have had you with us since Friday.

We hope that the conference was worth every bit of your time and that you have been blessed by the insightful sessions. For your convenience, we have attached the recordings of both Saturday and Sunday sessions. Feel free to download them and listen at your leisure. If you would like to continue being part of The Bridge Hub community, you can join our WhatsApp group using the link below.

Recordings: The Bridge HUB – Google Drive

TBH WhatsApp Group: [WhatsApp group link]

Remember, embracing your maleness is a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Let’s celebrate authenticity, reject harmful stereotypes, cultivate emotional intelligence, and contribute positively to the world around us. Together, we can create a society where men are empowered to be their genuine selves while championing equality and inclusivity.

THE BRIDGE HUB FIRST HANGOUT

After Lost Boys got published on the 27th of August 2017, this idea of having opportunities to have conversations on what the book addressed and more around boyhood, maleness, and manhood danced in my mind. Ever since, my mind has played scenes of me sitting down with other men to talk, yea talk because the truth is, most men are not comfortable with talking, with being vulnerable because they prefer to suck things in and let them fester. But, I have been thinking how would it be if men of all ages are willing to hang out and talk and find solace in themselves through God, would we turn out better? If we can have these #MeToo moments and realise we actually are going through almost the same things and even if we try to hide that fact, we actually need help, direction, and satisfaction that we are part of something big that can make us be who God has created and designed us to be.

The desire for this birthed The Bridge HUB on the 27th of August, 2020. It is a hub where activities and everything will be done to cause paradigm shifts in the minds of males and let them know that things can be done better if they can allow God to transform their minds and show them the main reason he created the man as an entity.

On the 5th of December will be our first Hangout and it is vital because history will be made on that day.

Our Focus: Real Conversations on Purpose

Time Interval: 2:45 pm – 5:00 pm.

Keynote Speaker: IfeOluwa Fatoki

Venue: Ogbomoso.

The bridge from here to where God wants you to be is your purpose. That is why you need to understand why He has created you so that you can walk in it to give him pleasure and bless lives.

Register here: http://bit.ly/thebridgehub

Knowing your purpose is not so hard, you just need to know how to go about it. You do it by going to your creator through Jesus Christ and by faith to ask him what garden He has put you in to tend and keep. God will definitely speak to you because God has never been known to leave anyone in the dark about their purpose and how to fulfil the purpose step by step.

We hope the hangout answers the questions on purpose so that participants understand their purpose well, learn practical steps on how to do that and fulfil our purpose to glorify God.

We will have an Open Discussion where we shall share our heart on How to Deal with the Feelings of Inadequacy as Males, have a Panel Discussion session with three incredible young men, we shall listen to God’s word, pray, play games and break bread together.

The Hangout is to have a non-judgmental atmosphere where we can be ourselves, have a real connection and share what is bothering us, and be willing to help one another through the help of God to get better.

I am elated and anticipate to fellowship and have fun with great men.

FAILED FATHERHOOD By Adeyinka Boluwatife

 

Fatherhood is one of the most important relationships God used to represent His kingdom on earth. It is only next to marriage. God established Fatherhood to introduce the relationship we will eventually have with Him when we become His sons and daughters (when we become saved). In fact, becoming a Christian means accepting to be under the fatherhood of God the Father in Heaven. This is because the strength of a material is tested by the strength of the smallest unit it is composed of. Fatherhood which is established in the smallest unit of God’s kingdom (the family) is a crucial building block to all the moves of God. 

The first and most important responsibility of a father is the duty of fellowship with the Father of fathers. I am not only talking about your quiet time. Fathers must not only spend time with God for their personal growth, they must spend time with God because of the office they occupy. One is a relationship (quiet time), the other is a duty, it is a call. You cannot be a representative of a person without standing before that person to receive instructions. I am mentioning this point because we will continue to refer to this duty through the course of this piece. A man who fails in this will fail in all responsibilities. 

The next most important responsibility of a father is to show the way to his children. 

An important reason why fathers fail in their calling is that they have not conquered their internal battles. You cannot conquer a battle without while you still fall for those within. No man can give the victory he lacks; I had to learn this lesson with time and pain. Everything you will do as a father will be from the abundance of your heart. If you don’t have it, you can’t teach it. The reason I do all I can to live a victorious life through Christ is to be able to teach it to my kids. When you find a father who can’t teach his children about sexual purity, he most likely did not have victory in that area.  

Register here: http://bit.ly/thebridgehub

When Fatherhood Fails

There is a stage in a child’s life known as the stage of indoctrination, the age of 0-5 years. At this stage, a child is expected to take everything he or she learns, hook, line and sinker. The bulk of a child’s life is determined at this stage. God has designed the world in such a way that the closest person to that child ought to be his father. The first result of a failed fatherhood is an unbaked child. A child that lacks some of the necessary life skills. No matter how evil a person is, he or she was once an innocent child. 

When fathers fail, the enemy can easily rob a child of his destiny by one careless mistake. The father has divine power to preserve or alter the destiny of a child. 

A curse was placed on Benjamin by his mother because she had a very painful labour that eventually killed her in Genesis 35:18. She called him Benoni which means son of pain, but Abraham who understood the spiritual implications of that name and also understood the power in fatherhood cancelled that name and gave him Benjamin which means laughter. If you look at Benjamin’s life you will see that he had a good life. The opposite happened to Jabez whose mother gave a similar name because of the pain of childbirth. He did not have a father to nullify such pronouncement until he could cry to God himself (1 Chronicle 4:9-10).

When fathers fail in their responsibility to train their children in the way of the Lord, a nation that has forgotten God will rise on the face of the earth. One of the primary responsibilities of a father is to train his children and household in the way of the Lord. God said about Abraham “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Gen 18: 19). When fathers fail in this responsibility, a nation will forget God because the family is the building block of the nation. It happened in the book of Judges Chapter 2. In Joshua 4 vs 4 -8, Joshua specifically gave the men an instruction to take 12 stones from Jordan as a representation of the mighty works of God and when their CHILDREN asked them what the meaning of the stones, they should teach them about the works of God. Later on, in Judges 2 verse 10 there was a generation of men who did not remember God. How did you think this happened? Obviously, because the fathers who were men in Joshua chapter 4 failed to teach their children.

When fathers fail, the apostolic calling and workings of God can be altered, generational covenants can be altered. God’s covenant with the house of Levi was that his generation will be priests forever. Eli failed in that and God started to lead Israel by prophets, the first of which was Samuel. No one outside the family of Levi could serve and lead Israel except those from the house of Levi. Samuel also failed as a father and that’s why Israel had kings, David also failed, that’s why the dynasty of kings ended.

Men need to first experience God before they can rule over and have dominion on earth. Our authority as Men comes from God, he gave us that power to shepherd and we cannot lead our families without him because it will be Godless and ruled with the mindset and systems of this world.

In conclusion, The Men of today need to experience what Love from a Father looks like and that it can only be found in Abba (God the Father). In Abba is love, patience, humility, meekness, tenderness e.t.c, so take your broken pieces to him to fix and heal you today.

Heirloom

Internet 

Those sofas in the parlour have become family heirlooms which have been passed on from my great-grandfather, grandfather and now to my father. The only thing that has changed about those sofas is the clothing or should I say their ‘jacket.’
I wonder why father so much cherish them and has refused to change them to better and more modern ones. He has always said that, those chairs are part of his life and they remind him of his own grandfather (that is my own Great-grandfather) and his deft designs while he was a carpenter.

Mother once cautioned me, “Ololade, you better be careful with that chair you are jerking on and do not break its handle. Don’t you know it’s older than you?” Older than me? Like seriously? Did mother actually expect me to rise up every morning and venerate those chairs by prostrating before them? Wouldn’t it be an insane thing to do? But truly, I doubt if those chair handles could easily break. At least they are not like the modern and fancy ones sold around this days.

But I hope soon and very soon, father breaks this his principle of treasuring all those heirlooms and get modern ones to replace them. Because, I’m tired of seeing those old chairs and his old wardrobe staring at me everyday and saying “Ori e o pe, don’t you have respect?”

Father shouldn’t even think of passing them down to me. Never! Never!! But I wouldn’t mind if he gives me his cars and company when he dies in years to come.

Bamigbola Silas.

TEARS OF HISTORY…

Arike:

Baami who is that woman

Whose wailings fill our ears

Whose anguish silence the birds?
Father:

That is Itan

Mourning for her lost children 

Her sons and daughters

Her hope and life 
Arike:

Isn’t she the mother of Oduduwa the great warrior?
Father:

Yes she is . Oduduwa the great warrior

The brave and fearless man 

I remember the wars he fought for us 

Fought for our freedom 

Stood up to the white gods in our land

Alas! He is now a terror to chickens

Dreams are his battlefield 

Vituperates before his television and newspaper

His victory ends on the cushion 

A cripple that can’t stand to defend his name, identity future, and honour 
Arike:

Surely Akanbi the great farmer is alive to feed his mother.
Father:

Arike your memory amaze me

Akanbi the great farmer son of the land

His bare hands soothes the land 

As he brings her to delivery 

To deliver her of her fruits and tidings 

Out of his abundance 

He feeds the lizards in his house 

His kinsmen  in ivory coast 

He fed for years 

Akanbi  is now a scavenger 

Who waits in line to eat 

Bits and bits from long nosed men 

Akanbi begs in the street 

Depending on biscuits and indomie 

He grovels for food from strangers 

I pity him when I pass by him 

His face distorted by hunger 

Akanbi waits/looks abroad and not below 

For his satisfaction 
Arike:

What a tragedy the death of living sons Baami Segilola nko? I know a daughter will never forsake her mother 
Father:

Segilola eleyinjuege

The great jewel

Pride of her mother 

Fear of all wives

The groaning in men’s groin 

Lusted after by white men 

Segilola sold her pride for fashion 

Her royal beads for dollars 

Her beauty for sophistication

Her culture for civilization 
Arike:

Indeed Itan has lost so much . A great mother abiyamo ni 
Father:

Where did you see Itan was it on your way to the stream ?

 

Arike:

Baami it was not on my way to the stream nor on my way to the farm. 

I saw her in the wrinkles on Iya agba’s face 

I saw her beneath the dark soil Upon which she was once celebrated 

In the ancient tattoo on maami’s hand 

In your tribal marks 
Father:

Such is the life of history Itan 

Who cries and weeps

For her past conquests and victories. 
Such is  the plight of Nigeria a great mother with glorious children. 
Her Oduduwa Akanbi Segilola are no more .
Listen again as she wails 
How old is Nigeria, dimeji?
TEARS OF HISTORY 

by Adediran Adetutu. 
P .S 

A  Thought provoking poem of our past. A past that can fuel our present and lighten our dim future.

Don’t give up on Nigeria, it can still be a better place for us if you are ready to work and trust (in God).  
Comment : this is a wonderful poem written by my friend Adediran Adetutu, it’s a poem that takes us to the past and still keep us abreast with the present matters on ground. I hope we are encouraged by this?  

Enough of inaction, our little positive actions have a way of bringing Nigeria to the place it should be. 
May God bless Nigeria and take us to the right place he has prepared for us. 

Amen
Happy Independence Day friends. 
God bless you real good.