Self-Controlled Men

Silas Bamigbola

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, it is more important than ever for us to reflect on our values and strive to be self-controlled individuals. Lately, the Nigerian Twitter space has been plagued with scandals of men who betray their wives through infidelity, while society often turns a blind eye or even accepts such behaviour. However, as men, we must understand that faithfulness and self-control are virtues that define our character and honour our responsibilities. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of self-control and discuss practical ways we can cultivate faithfulness in our lives.

Embracing Our Divine Calling:

As young men, it is essential to anchor our beliefs and actions in a higher purpose. In the Holy Scriptures, God calls upon us to be self-controlled and faithful. Proverbs 25:28 reminds us, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Similarly, Galatians 5:22-23 highlights the importance of self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit. By embracing our divine calling, we can develop the strength to resist temptations and uphold our commitments.

Recognizing the Fallacy of Excuses:

Society often perpetuates the misguided notion that men are inherently polygamous and therefore bound to cheat on their partners. However, it is crucial to challenge such misconceptions. True strength lies in exercising self-control, resisting the allure of momentary gratification, and prioritizing our commitment to our loved ones. While external influences may present various temptations, we have the power to make conscious choices based on our values and principles. Excusing infidelity only perpetuates a culture of betrayal, undermining the trust and stability within our relationships.

Building a Foundation of Trust:

To be self-controlled men, we must recognize that trust forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Infidelity erodes trust and breeds insecurity, leading to pain and discord. Therefore, we must prioritize open communication, honesty, and transparency in our interactions with our partners. By consistently demonstrating our faithfulness and reliability, we nurture a bond built on trust. This foundation enables our relationships to flourish, bringing joy, stability, and fulfilment to both ourselves and our loved ones.

Practical Steps towards Faithfulness:

Cultivating self-control and faithfulness requires intentional effort. Here are some practical steps we can take:

1. Define your values: Clearly articulate your personal values and principles, ensuring they align with your commitment to faithfulness.

2. Practice self-reflection: Regularly evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions, identifying areas where you may be vulnerable to temptation.

3. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries within your relationships, ensuring you communicate and respect each other’s needs and expectations.

4. Seek accountability: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who will hold you accountable and support your journey towards self-control.

Dear young men, let us reject the narrative that condones infidelity and embrace our divine calling to be self-controlled and faithful. Upholding our commitments to our partners and ourselves not only brings us closer to God but also strengthens the fabric of our relationships and society as a whole. By actively cultivating self-control, honouring trust, and nurturing open communication, we can become the embodiment of integrity and inspire positive change in our communities. Remember, true strength lies in choosing faithfulness over momentary pleasures and being men of honour who walk in the path of righteousness.

• 
  Honouring Our Fathers
• 
  The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man

How To Break Free From Inferiority Complex

Raymond Oluwalola

Growing up, I can think of many moments when I wished I was White, not as a colour but as a race. The world I believed in was from movies (I watched many), made me resent a part of my existence that I was Black, and to make matters worse, that I was Nigerian.

If we are not careful, there is an inferiority complex that may descend upon us earlier on in life and make us resent where we are from, who we were born to, and how we have come to grow up, and the list is endless.

For most of us, these feelings of insecurity and insufficiency (such as being unable to reach an intended goal) are highly situational or occasional. When they arise, we may, for example, brood about them for a time and then move on, deal with them by reminding ourselves that we have other strengths, or use them as motivation to master the underlying problem, says James E. Maddux, PhD, psychologist and author of Subjective Well-Being and Life Satisfaction and coauthor of Psychopathology: Foundations for a Contemporary Understanding.

‘Complex’ refers to a mental state made up of different emotions, and ideas and is completely different from the ‘feeling of inferiority.’

Feeling inferior is a fleeting feeling and allows you to look beyond your imperfections and strive for growth. It also refers to the state when you say that ‘Had this happened/not happened, I would have achieved this/that.’

Had I thought that since ‘I am a guy from the wrong country or race, I could never be respected or even noticed in society,’ is what can be referred to as an inferiority complex?

These complexities that we suffer from can come in different form and shape like your voice isn’t good enough, your food is tasteless, your cultural background is weird, you are not as civilized as others, not as attractive, not as intelligent, and so on, so forth.

When you give an excuse for not doing something, that’s when you should know that it’s not normal, and need to be worked on. While an inferiority complex blocks you and makes you curse everything around you when the problem is not the environment but ‘You’.

Society may have been psychologically conditioned to make us feel like that – interiorization tactics are mainly used to convince their victims that they are oppressed, but we need to understand that society plays a big part in making us feel inferior. We can break free from this complex. To feel inferior, we do not need to feel worthless, to kill our spirit, or keep us down as well as others around us.

I may have grown up to love who I am now, but it has not always been so. I’m not going to lie and act like the thought of changing my race and culture hasn’t crossed my mind. Most people may not know this is happening, but as they grow, they subliminally suffer from something that may be telling them that something or someone better is out there.

Realize that you are not alone. Apparently, this is a bad place to be, but here is a suggestion, “Give importance to your identity, including your height, weight, skin colour, and features, as well as your thoughts, dreams, family, and knowledge. These elements create you and make you an individual.

Another proven technique that could help is to talk to somebody – seek help and look for a community that can help you grow – don’t sit in idleness and wallow in self-pity, it does not help. Lastly, you can turn to the scriptures, look for and gather words that describe you and how you want to see yourself, and let them be your words of affirmation.

The more you keep reading and meditating on those words, the more you believe them, and the more it redefines how you see and perceive yourself.

In case you need somebody to talk to or need somebody to speak to a group of boys on this topic, you can reach out to us at thebridgehub27@gmail.com.

Embrace Your Manhood: Unleashing Your Purpose as a Man

Silas Bamigbola

In a world where men often navigate through societal expectations and conflicting messages, it becomes crucial for them to actively embrace their manhood with a clear understanding of their purpose. By tapping into their divine calling, men can unlock their potential, become beacons of strength, and positively impact their communities. This article aims to guide men on their journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of actively understanding their purpose and how it can transform them into the men God intended them to be.

1. Acknowledge the Source of Purpose:

The first step in embracing manhood is recognizing that God, the author of our lives, holds the key to our purpose. Seek a deeper relationship with Him through prayer and scripture, and discover that Ephesians 2:10 reminds us that we are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Understand this truth to align your life with God’s plan and unleash your true potential.

2. Discover Your Unique Design:

Realize that you are intricately designed by God with unique gifts, talents, and passions. Explore your interests and reflect on what brings you joy and fulfilment. Romans 12:6 affirms that “we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us.” Identify and develop your God-given abilities to serve others and make a meaningful impact.

3. Live Out Your Purpose:

Understanding purpose is just the beginning; it must be actively lived out. Embrace your role as a leader, protector, and provider in your families, workplaces, and communities. Galatians 6:10 encourages us to “do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Actively seek opportunities to serve and make a positive difference, fully embracing your manhood and contributing to the well-being of others.

4. Overcome Challenges:

The journey of embracing manhood and living out your purpose is not without challenges. You may face societal pressures, personal doubts, or setbacks along the way. However, with faith and perseverance, you can overcome these obstacles. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Rely on God’s guidance and seek support from like-minded individuals to stay on course and fulfil your purpose.

Conclusion:

Embracing manhood is a transformative journey that begins with actively understanding your purpose. Recognize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God, and embrace your unique design. Live out your purpose with confidence, knowing that you have a divine calling waiting to be fulfilled. By seeking God’s guidance and relying on His strength, unlock your full potential and become the solution your communities need. Let us encourage men to actively embrace their manhood, knowing that they have a purpose to fulfil and a world to impact.

Sex; What’s the big deal?

by Stephen Jerubba’al

The buzz has been a loud one for almost forever, and every decade and even generations have a taste of their own sexual journeys. From youth to adults and children, there are diverse self-generated definitions given to sex. However, for life to be balanced, the truth must be absolute and not relative. Sex must have a definite definition and not diverse meaning according to the bias of folks.

Sex is a tool of intimacy created by God and is to be specifically practised in marriage. In my usual way of summarising the concept of sex, I put sex as a tripartite action. Sex serves three fundamental purposes;

a. For recreation

b. For procreation, and

c. For bonding

They are not arranged in any particular order, but as the flow comes, it is fundamental to know that these three things summarise the concept of sex. If I chose a side, I would start with sex as a bonding tool.

Dear young man, sex is an amazing gift from God. Contrary to many notions or perspectives, sex is beautiful, sweet, and thrilling. Sex is not evil, and sex was designed and created by God for man. However, It was not designed to be practised outside the confines of marriage.

Why marriage?

Marriage is a beautiful institution with the ingredient required to withhold many things; one of those things is SEX. Okay? You must be confused here. But follow, please. Sex is so wild that it takes only the right values within marriage to contain it.

While we have highlighted the tripartite purpose of sex, it is expedient to let you understand that sex was not designed to be fulfilling in the real sense of it. It was actually designed to sustain hunger and the desire for your partner. It may look odd that if it doesn’t satisfy your hunger, why then the buzz?

Sex between two legally married people helps one partner to desire the other within a safe zone. Having sex before marriage is an exposure to desire more from someone who isn’t your partner and has not made a lifetime commitment to you. Marriage means a commitment to another person irrespective of the situation.

You may see that folks have sex all around, and there seems to be no restraint. The adventures of sex may be thrilling for a while, and you, too, may feel like it is tiring to keep waiting for an “only-God-knows-when” time to have that thrilling experience with the opposite sex. It is best to wait. The beauty of sexual experiences is not in the expression itself but in the ability to RESTRAIN. The expression is beautiful, but the restraint keeps you safe at all times. 

You are required to put your body under control, and without that, you are susceptible to falling at every open opportunity. Yes, you’re going to get married, and hopefully to the most beautiful woman, and you will find out that her beauty alone is not solid enough to keep you from having sex with outsiders. If it were, sex outside marriage wouldn’t have been a matter.

What is expected of you?

Your values are expected to be defined correctly, and you must understand that sex was created. Every creation has a creator, and every creator has a purpose in mind for their creation. God created sex, and he had a purpose in mind— bonding. The beautiful thing about it is that while it binds two people together, it is still a vehicle that can facilitate procreation and play.

Taking anything outside of the creator’s purpose does not only corrupt its use, but it also corrupts the user. This is why technically if you see anyone having sex outside or before marriage, it is quite evident that they have isolated sex from the purpose of its creator— it is crippling and mentally humbling. As you celebrate this season of love and go beyond, you must also understand that sex is not proof of love outside marriage. Within marriage, it is both a tool of love and a weapon to facilitate intimacy.  

Conclusion

You may have gone through the above and seen that there is too much noise about a creation that is designed to be purposeful. Sex is a tool of love, and if a tool of love is used outside of its purpose, it becomes a weapon of destruction. Check your immediate environment from proofs. 

How are you handling sex? As a weapon or as a tool? What values do you have about sex? Does it come from the purpose of sex or your own bodily biases? Are you willing to make a difference?

You, too, can handle sex purposefully— to bond with your partner, learn about them and continually make divine creations beautiful and safe. Don’t be another. Wield it as a weapon but as a tool of LOVE.

Finding True Love

by Adebayo Boluwatife

Finding true love as a man can be challenging and sometimes daunting, but it can also bring immense joy and fulfilment to your life. Love is one of the most important aspects of our lives, and it is natural to desire a partner to share your life with.

However, finding someone who is a good match for you requires effort and self-reflection. Understanding your values, goals, and what you bring to a relationship is important to attract the right person. This self-awareness can help you identify compatible partners and make you more confident and attractive, thus requiring a combination of self-awareness, openness, and effort to find true love as a man.

Being open-minded is also crucial in the search for love. This means being willing to consider people who may be different from you and not having a rigid idea of your perfect partner. You may be surprised by who you connect with and who can bring happiness and fulfilment into your life.

Self-improvement is an important factor in attracting a compatible partner. This can include physical and emotional wellness, personal growth, and building healthy relationships with others. Improving oneself can make one more attractive and confident and bring new opportunities for meeting people.

When you meet someone you are interested in, it is important to be authentic and honest about who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship. Communication is key in any relationship, so be sure to listen to what your partner says and express your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly.

Finding true love requires patience and effort. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t find the right person right away, and don’t settle for someone who is not a good match for you. If you need help, seek it, and keep putting yourself out there and working on yourself. With time and effort, you will eventually find the person who is right for you.

Here are a few tips that may help:

Know yourself: To attract someone who is a good match for you, you need to understand what you want and what you are looking for in a relationship. Take the time to reflect on your values, goals, and what you bring to a relationship.

Be open-minded: When looking for love, it is important to keep an open mind. This means being willing to consider people who are different from you and not having a rigid idea of who your perfect partner is.

Work on self-improvement: Improving yourself can make you a more attractive and confident person, which can help you attract someone who is a good match for you. Focus on physical and emotional wellness, personal growth, and building healthy relationships with others.

Be honest and authentic: When looking for love, it is important to be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress someone else. Be honest about who you are and what you want in a relationship.

Get out there: To meet new people, you must be active and put yourself in social situations. Join clubs, attend events, and participate in activities that interest you. This can be a great way to meet new people and increase your chances of finding someone special.

Take things slow: When you start a new relationship, it is important to take things slow and get to know the person. Don’t rush into anything serious too quickly; take the time to get to know the person and see if they are a good match for you.

Communication is key: Communication is key in any relationship. Make sure you are open and honest with your partner and take the time to listen to what they have to say. Good communication can build trust and a strong foundation for your relationship.

Remember that finding true love takes time and patience: Don’t get discouraged if you don’t find someone immediately. Keep putting yourself out there and continue to work on yourself, and you will eventually find the person who is right for you.

Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential for maintaining a healthy and happy life, and it can also help you attract a partner who is also taking care of yourself. This can include exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and doing things that bring joy.

Be patient: Finding true love can take time, and you may have to go through some unsuccessful relationships before finding the right one. It’s important to be patient and not give up on love. Keep an open mind and stay positive; the right person will come into your life when the time is right.

Focus on building a strong connection: When you find someone you are interested in, focus on building a strong connection with them. Spend time getting to know each other, have meaningful conversations and participate in activities together. A strong connection will help build the foundation for a successful and long-lasting relationship.

Be respectful and considerate: Treating your partner with respect and consideration is essential for a healthy relationship. This means being considerate of their feelings, being understanding, and not being selfish.

Seek help if needed: If you are struggling to find love or if you are in a relationship that is not healthy, it can be helpful to seek help. This can include therapy, counselling, or relationship workshops.

CONCLUSION 

Understanding yourself and what you want in a relationship is important to finding true love. Be open-minded, and don’t have a rigid idea of who your perfect partner should be. Work on self-improvement and be authentic and honest in your interactions with others. Communication is key in any relationship, so listen to your partner and express yourself openly and honestly. Finding true love may take time and effort, but with patience and persistence, you will eventually find the person who is right for you and brings joy and fulfilment into your life.

PLAYING THE BLAME CARD OR TAKING RESPONSIBILITY By Mafolasire Williams Oluwafemi

One could define freedom in many ways as long as it takes the chains off and lets you go. One could say freedom is responsibility; to accept the consequences of your actions rather than deny them.  Here, freedom is to follow through with those consequences. It doesn’t make sense? Stay with me.

I had this friend, when I first got to this new city, he would always find a way to explain things—to give excuses—thoughts about how he got away with a lot made me conclude he was a smart person. There was even a time he wrote an exam he did not prepare for, when I asked him why he failed when the results were out, he said to me, “The Nigerian system is a complete mess and it has been wired to make hardworking people fail. The only way out is to get out”.

It sounded logical seeing how the government handles power, but I would later not agree with him. He wasn’t as smart as I thought, he only liked not to be responsible for anything. He denied the results of his actions in a bid to be free from his failure, but what this did was tie him to his exam result, not freedom as it posed. Taking responsibility is what actual freedom is, as it puts you in a position to fix the problem that led to the failure, not to ignore it.

Responsibility is to be responsible, and the opposite of being responsible is irresponsibility. The thing about being irresponsible is that it allows you to do things and excuse yourself from its consequences. It gives you a happy feeling that the things happening in your life aren’t your doing even though you made the decisions. But this feeling doesn’t last long before you begin to bear the burden of the results of those actions, it’s a façade.

• Honouring Our Fathers
• The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man
• FOR THE BOYS: We also need mentors.
• Live as a Wise Man

One decides to be irresponsible for two reasons: either one is scared about people’s reactions or one is lazy. And it is not always the case that the two possibilities can be separated. You would want to ask, why tow this line when you could take responsibility for your actions and fix them? I ask the same question too.

Sometimes I like to think I’ve seen it all in the brief time I have been alive: a man who took responsibility for the things in his life and went ahead to succeed and another man who looked for an excuse for everything and went ahead to live in regret. Both of them have one thing in common — choices. Even the sovereign God did not take that from man, he gave that ultimately to us. 

Responsibility should be your top priority, primary objective, and habit. It is not a good part of your life, it’s the most important part. Every high flier knows this, they know nobody gets ahead in life without first settling the issue of taking full responsibility for their life — responsibility for their time, resources, failures, success, jobs, relationships, and everything in their life.

One time, I listened to someone share the story of a man’s final words on his deathbed. “The only regret in his entire life was blaming his father for not being available while he was a child. He lived recklessly until he damaged his kidney and had to pay with his life when help did not come through as his health deteriorated.” He died wishing he was responsible for himself and not using blame cards. 

Stop playing the blame game and take responsibility for your life. Nobody makes progress pointing fingers at people for the things that aren’t in place in their life. It’s only wise you fix whatever that has to do with you, it’s your life — do it for yourself. Stop giving excuses, they will make you slow or stagnant. Excuses are a great enemy of greatness, it gets you preoccupied with making explanations for your failures, bad investments, terrible relationships, and failed goals. They make you feel you’re never the problem, that there are always external factors messing up your life even when you’re not doing it right. They make you comfortable and provide logic why you should embrace mediocrity but take all of these from you within a short while.

As I conclude, remember this, the point of life is learning to drive your life, to own your decisions, and to fix your problems. That’s how to be a responsible man. No one will do these things for you, so stop playing dice or hoping things will eventually turn out right, they never do until you wake up to be a real man that’s deliberate about himself. Life minus responsibility equals regrets.

Know that, being responsible is the secret to a successful life and the best use of life is responsibility, so man up because this is your life and you have to make it count.

FAILED FATHERHOOD By Adeyinka Boluwatife

 

Fatherhood is one of the most important relationships God used to represent His kingdom on earth. It is only next to marriage. God established Fatherhood to introduce the relationship we will eventually have with Him when we become His sons and daughters (when we become saved). In fact, becoming a Christian means accepting to be under the fatherhood of God the Father in Heaven. This is because the strength of a material is tested by the strength of the smallest unit it is composed of. Fatherhood which is established in the smallest unit of God’s kingdom (the family) is a crucial building block to all the moves of God. 

The first and most important responsibility of a father is the duty of fellowship with the Father of fathers. I am not only talking about your quiet time. Fathers must not only spend time with God for their personal growth, they must spend time with God because of the office they occupy. One is a relationship (quiet time), the other is a duty, it is a call. You cannot be a representative of a person without standing before that person to receive instructions. I am mentioning this point because we will continue to refer to this duty through the course of this piece. A man who fails in this will fail in all responsibilities. 

The next most important responsibility of a father is to show the way to his children. 

An important reason why fathers fail in their calling is that they have not conquered their internal battles. You cannot conquer a battle without while you still fall for those within. No man can give the victory he lacks; I had to learn this lesson with time and pain. Everything you will do as a father will be from the abundance of your heart. If you don’t have it, you can’t teach it. The reason I do all I can to live a victorious life through Christ is to be able to teach it to my kids. When you find a father who can’t teach his children about sexual purity, he most likely did not have victory in that area.  

Register here: http://bit.ly/thebridgehub

When Fatherhood Fails

There is a stage in a child’s life known as the stage of indoctrination, the age of 0-5 years. At this stage, a child is expected to take everything he or she learns, hook, line and sinker. The bulk of a child’s life is determined at this stage. God has designed the world in such a way that the closest person to that child ought to be his father. The first result of a failed fatherhood is an unbaked child. A child that lacks some of the necessary life skills. No matter how evil a person is, he or she was once an innocent child. 

When fathers fail, the enemy can easily rob a child of his destiny by one careless mistake. The father has divine power to preserve or alter the destiny of a child. 

A curse was placed on Benjamin by his mother because she had a very painful labour that eventually killed her in Genesis 35:18. She called him Benoni which means son of pain, but Abraham who understood the spiritual implications of that name and also understood the power in fatherhood cancelled that name and gave him Benjamin which means laughter. If you look at Benjamin’s life you will see that he had a good life. The opposite happened to Jabez whose mother gave a similar name because of the pain of childbirth. He did not have a father to nullify such pronouncement until he could cry to God himself (1 Chronicle 4:9-10).

When fathers fail in their responsibility to train their children in the way of the Lord, a nation that has forgotten God will rise on the face of the earth. One of the primary responsibilities of a father is to train his children and household in the way of the Lord. God said about Abraham “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Gen 18: 19). When fathers fail in this responsibility, a nation will forget God because the family is the building block of the nation. It happened in the book of Judges Chapter 2. In Joshua 4 vs 4 -8, Joshua specifically gave the men an instruction to take 12 stones from Jordan as a representation of the mighty works of God and when their CHILDREN asked them what the meaning of the stones, they should teach them about the works of God. Later on, in Judges 2 verse 10 there was a generation of men who did not remember God. How did you think this happened? Obviously, because the fathers who were men in Joshua chapter 4 failed to teach their children.

When fathers fail, the apostolic calling and workings of God can be altered, generational covenants can be altered. God’s covenant with the house of Levi was that his generation will be priests forever. Eli failed in that and God started to lead Israel by prophets, the first of which was Samuel. No one outside the family of Levi could serve and lead Israel except those from the house of Levi. Samuel also failed as a father and that’s why Israel had kings, David also failed, that’s why the dynasty of kings ended.

Men need to first experience God before they can rule over and have dominion on earth. Our authority as Men comes from God, he gave us that power to shepherd and we cannot lead our families without him because it will be Godless and ruled with the mindset and systems of this world.

In conclusion, The Men of today need to experience what Love from a Father looks like and that it can only be found in Abba (God the Father). In Abba is love, patience, humility, meekness, tenderness e.t.c, so take your broken pieces to him to fix and heal you today.

THE POWER OF THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND.

You have two major layers of the mind: the conscious and the subconscious mind.

The conscious mind can be easily controlled by you; you are aware of it and it is a short term memory. But what controls you and how you think, act and behave is the subconscious mind. It is a long time memory thing and it takes 90% of your mind. 

What you get is what you focus on. If you want to change how you think and by extension, your life, then you must learn how to hack and use your subconscious mind well and lead it to where you want it to go. Because that is where your reasoning, imaginations, opinions and idiosyncrasies about life sit.

…But we have the mind of Christ. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

When you give your life to Christ, it is your spirit that gets saved. For you to move that reality to your soul and your body it has to be well-grounded in your subconscious mind. This you can do by dwelling on your new identity daily. 

For example, when you know that you shouldn’t be a subject to sickness as a child of God, you have to drag that truth from your spirit to your subconscious mind by renewing your mind to believe it is so and it eventually controls your body. 

Or to overcome certain bad habits and addictions, you must allow your subconscious mind to understand that you are an overcomer by claiming your victory and living as a victor because you are no longer a slave to sin but to righteousness.

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, (Philippians 2:5)

When you study anything, what initially absorbs the things you read is your conscious mind. You must learn to sit on those words and reflect on them, allowing them to sink into your subconscious mind so that you can form a deep conviction. This makes your spirit aware of them and causes your life to move in accordance to them.

Above all else, guard your heart,

for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

The issue of the mind is essential because out of the heart flows the issues of life. What you pay attention to informs your perception. 

• Honouring Our Fathers
• The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man
• FOR THE BOYS: We also need mentors.
• Live as a Wise Man

The scripture has several passages that emphasize the importance of having a renewed mind. The day we indeed accepted him as our Lord, the way we think is still bent from the nature of God. But starting a relationship with God is a call to allow God to transform us by renovating our minds – changing the way we think, our desires and the way we act.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

The essence is that we have a mind like Christ that enables us to act like Christ and be like him in every work of life.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

So change the way you think, and then change your life. Hack your subconscious mind by exposing yourself to the right knowledge, i.e. to the word of God. That is the surest way to know His good and perfect will so that you can please Him and have a sane mind in our world today.

MEN CRY TOO by Susanna Beth’a

• 

Dearest,

I have had the privilege of walking through difficult times with my male friends and I know how hard it is for them to keep on. They really fight to be sincere with how life goes on around them while all the society has to tell them is be strong with the cascading words that steel them like “You’re a man”. “Men don’t cry”. etc. I bring to your mind calmly and kindly this day that one of the value systems to keep is being real with YOU.

Denial has never eradicated our truest realities whether of joy or pain, not even mixed feelings. 

The popular notion is that men don’t cry. Never subscribe to this. Why will you subject yourself to keeping an inner agony attached with you not expressing how you feel, what breaks you and what hurts you to the utmost? All to a notion? Haha

It is okay to cry. You failed an exam. You lost a loved one to the cold grip of death. You got disappointed. Your old habits came back stronger. Your wife and kids worked out of the marriage. You lost your job. Your fiancée just called the relationship over! You went bankrupt. Yeah, it is good to be strong. But cry like the big baby you’re. You’re still someone’s baby, mind you. 

Oh boy, cry whenever you have to – please note that I didn’t say if you’ve to. WHENEVER you have to scream enough to block your ears and even that of your neighbours, please do. It signifies your need for help.

• 

Register here: http://bit.ly/thebridgehub

Tears revealed or kept in our hearts are never a sign of being weak. Be real with you. This process of acceptance is pivotal to your mental health. Most times, your tears are candid indicators that you have been strong for a long time with little or no help. 

• Let it all out. 
• Talk into your notepad. 
• Talk to friends.
• Ask for help. 
• Most importantly, talk WITH God not just to him.

Overrule the notion that no one will understand you. Eliminate the fears that you are alone. The truth is you are never alone through that mess or goodness. You are just being a man. Remove those shades all in the name of  MAN UP. Identify with your most real self. Building strength wrongly is waiting for a disaster to happen.

“Our High Priest is not one who cannot feel sympathy for our weaknesses.”

“Jesus wept.” Yes, Jesus! Please stop being hard on yourself.

• Honouring Our Fathers
• The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man

Why do I have to tell you all these?

Oh boy, you are IMPORTANT! Yes, very important.

But Mum said, “I am not needed to make any important decisions about my life.” My wife just called me a failed father. My friends just talked rash of me and my passion. Thanks to them for their amazing opinions.

God considers you important and you are. He places a great value on you from creation even to this very moment. You are important to God. And your mental health is important too.

“My dear male friends, I pray that everything may go well with you and that you may be in good mental health.” (paraphrased)

I know how degrading and hurting it is to be at the receiving end of people untamed opinions and unbridled comments. I know the feeling of obscurity that comes with not meeting people’s standard for you. I am here to tell you just the truth.

YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT. Please find hope and solace only in the truth. If your life is ever going to transit from where you are, you sincerely have to come to terms with your most real emotional fix. You are genuinely loved.

Yours in influence,

Susanna Beth’a

THE WILDERNESS EXPERIENCE!

2017 was one of the most amazing years of my life. I published a chapbook, Lost Boys that year and it attracted a lot of attention and opportunities. Also, I was building a blooming career in spoken words and poetry. I had speaking engagements and presented spoken word pieces along with several online interviews and classes.

I enjoyed the opportunity, attention and fame. It defined my life, but as time went by I couldn’t handle them again and I started to drain out.

Early 2018, I returned home frustrated from a journey where I went to pour out to people. I told God, “God, don’t send me out if you know I am not yet ready for the task you’ve given me!” Well, that was how my wilderness experience started.

Moses was a man who had enjoyed an elite life in the palace; he knew no suffering and benefited from the perks that came with being a prince of Egypt. However, a day came when he was prompted to look at his brethren and how they were faring.

He saw their burdens and realised why he was born at a time such as that: to set his people free from the gruesome burdens upon them.

Unfortunately, he thought he could do it on his own, setting his people free one by one. That would have been tiring and time consuming. God had to give him a template.

Now it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out to his brethren and looked at their burdens… When Pharaoh heard of this matter, he sought to kill Moses. But Moses fled from the face of Pharaoh and dwelt in the land of Midian; and he sat down by a well.

Exodus 2:11a, 15

For him to get that template to fulfil God’s purpose, he had to go to the wilderness to be trained and loaded for the assignment.

By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, esteeming the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward.

Hebrew 11:24-26

The wilderness experience is the time of obscurity that no one wants to go through because it is not palatable. It is a transition time; a time you must be sandpapered for the task ahead. It is a time of drawings, where God lures you into the inner chamber to have intercourse with him to birth something great for His glory.

O God, You are my God;
Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You;
My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land
Where there is no water.

Psalm 63:1

For me, it was a lonely journey where I was inconspicuous and a lot of breaking, pruning, shedding and shredding has to be done. Initially, I was depressed and could not make sense of what was happening. It has been three years now and even though a breaking forth is already happening, the training continues.

But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

Job 23:10

You may also be going through a wilderness experience now. A time where things are not adding up and all God’s promises over your life is not coming forth, or you are struggling with depression or certain vices or you have certain habits God is trying to prune out of your life and it is hard to just let go. Don’t give up, it is an important season you have to go through to come forth as gold and be all God has created you to be. Hang in there you will win!