Today, we are looking at the importance of arising to take responsibility for the course our lives take. Many males are trapped in a web of ignorance of how to live a responsible life. Maybe because many have never seen their fathers take life or their family by its head and make something out of it. There is a lack of the appropriate template for them to copy; and we become what we copy. Some might be influenced strongly by peer pressure, friends who don’t take responsibility but always throw the blame card. The admonition today is that you awaken from your deep sleep and be responsible. That we put in the work to be better men.
For the lost boys Who have lost themselves In the thicketed forest; Among bushes, Shrubs, brushes And big trees Amidst wild animals I whimper.
I know you are under the shadows of your fathers, Public sots who reek of bottles of beers And run after public holes of slut.
I know you are under the shadows of your friends; Friends who have no ken of who they are, Friends who lead you lurchingly into ditches All because you are in a shell Looking for stones to hatch you.
Your mothers have become religionists; Mats, which acrid priests gracefully matched on All because temples have become their homes Where they offer prayers to gods.
I pray you rouse from your deep sleep And find home in a wide expanse Where niches do not overlap.
When I’m close to chill Jordan, Old and grey and feeble, Prepared to cross beyond the rivers And ready to kiss the sky; May nations mirth.
May the sands retain my vestige. Rocks, my engraftment. Memories, never forgetting my name. Neighbours and friends, never forgetting my smile. And memorials raised for me.
When all is well and done, Giving God the glory and purpose fulfilled; May I be a leechlike paint On the parchment of people’s hearts, And having a castle in the hearts of men.
Words alone cannot quantify my heart of gratitude for what God did on the Fifth of December, 2020. The Bridge Hub has been all about finding opportunities to have conversations on the issues around boyhood, maleness, and manhood and different men sitting down to talk even though most men are not comfortable with talking or being vulnerable because they prefer to be the men and bear all that bother them alone. I am glad our first hangout gave us help, direction, and satisfaction in ways we did not expect to understand what God has created and designed us to be.
From the hangout, we really realised the importance of community and how it can help and shape us. We learnt a lot most especially about Purpose and learnt the how-tos of finding purpose and that one only becomes a noise in his/her generation if they’ve not found real purpose.
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. (Philippians 3:12)
The Panel discussion was also a bomb, it was nice hearing from incredible and resourceful panellists on how they got to understand their purpose and how they have been working on and walking in purpose.
We also had a great conversation on how to deal with inadequacies as men. It was amazing to see the way the participants opened up about their inadequacies and how they’ve been dealing with them as young men.
TOUSLED SOUL
Stack by stack Life placed its troubles upon your head, You became the nail While those worries became hammers Driving you deep into brooding and gloomy worlds.
A thawing and breaching soul You’ve got, Your belief; Men don’t cry. So you shuttered and bottled up To the brim wells of taunting trouble you feel within.
Only if you understood this wisdom; Men cry too, Wells of waters streak down their cheeks And they pour out their souls Without stanching them.
Friend, whenever you are stuck In a dirty muddy mayhem Call out! Hands shall reach out.
All we wanted is to gather 20 to 25 men to hangout and glory to God it was a big success!
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brethren to dwell together in unity! (Psalms 133:1)
The things we learnt are indeed seeds or tokens and God expects us to glorify Him with actions that accompany the knowledge we’ve gleaned; that’s the way we can bear real fruits. And going forward we can only wait to see the fruits of the seeds in the lives of participants who attended.
Sincere appreciation to our Keynote speaker, panelists and all our participants. It was great hanging out with them.
Cheers to more!
Link to the Hangout pictures: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1ii705m8Azc-2OEDqTt0T4fM3HVvVWuJa?usp=sharing
After Lost Boys got published on the 27th of August 2017, this idea of having opportunities to have conversations on what the book addressed and more around boyhood, maleness, and manhood danced in my mind. Ever since, my mind has played scenes of me sitting down with other men to talk, yea talk because the truth is, most men are not comfortable with talking, with being vulnerable because they prefer to suck things in and let them fester. But, I have been thinking how would it be if men of all ages are willing to hang out and talk and find solace in themselves through God, would we turn out better? If we can have these #MeToo moments and realise we actually are going through almost the same things and even if we try to hide that fact, we actually need help, direction, and satisfaction that we are part of something big that can make us be who God has created and designed us to be.
The desire for this birthed The Bridge HUB on the 27th of August, 2020. It is a hub where activities and everything will be done to cause paradigm shifts in the minds of males and let them know that things can be done better if they can allow God to transform their minds and show them the main reason he created the man as an entity.
On the 5th of December will be our first Hangout and it is vital because history will be made on that day.
Our Focus: Real Conversations on Purpose
Time Interval: 2:45 pm – 5:00 pm.
Keynote Speaker: IfeOluwa Fatoki
Venue: Ogbomoso.
The bridge from here to where God wants you to be is your purpose. That is why you need to understand why He has created you so that you can walk in it to give him pleasure and bless lives.
Knowing your purpose is not so hard, you just need to know how to go about it. You do it by going to your creator through Jesus Christ and by faith to ask him what garden He has put you in to tend and keep. God will definitely speak to you because God has never been known to leave anyone in the dark about their purpose and how to fulfil the purpose step by step.
We hope the hangout answers the questions on purpose so that participants understand their purpose well, learn practical steps on how to do that and fulfil our purpose to glorify God.
We will have an Open Discussion where we shall share our heart on How to Deal with the Feelings of Inadequacy as Males, have a Panel Discussion session with three incredible young men, we shall listen to God’s word, pray, play games and break bread together.
The Hangout is to have a non-judgmental atmosphere where we can be ourselves, have a real connection and share what is bothering us, and be willing to help one another through the help of God to get better.
I am elated and anticipate to fellowship and have fun with great men.
Last year, I went through one of the darkest moments of my life. I did not love myself nor believe that I will ever amount to something or someone better in life. It affected my self-esteem.
The depression was deep and it persisted for months. It was a phase I will never wish on anyone. Although it’s a phase that we sometimes go through.
I don’t know what lies we believe about ourselves that rip us of our self-esteem or make us feel less of what God says we are but I know the struggle can be so real and hard.
Yesternight,
the moon hid behind a curtain,
the stars cried then failed to appear,
and the dark night sank
into another bland black darkness.
For men, our self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect mean a lot to us. It informs people’s perception of who we are. If our perception is not strong, it weakens our hearts and lives and makes us feel inadequate. No man wants to feel inadequate.
The question now is, does our faith or trust in God’s love and care buffer low self-esteem or better put, can that make us feel better about ourselves?
I know we have gone through a lot in life, the ups and downs and the many blows life jabs at us, but what has been your best way for combating life?
For me all those times I went through those dark moments, I tried many things: reading books, being with someone special, and trying to imagine a better tomorrow, making positive affirmations as well as identifying and developing my competencies.
While they may work they only did little because those solutions seem fickle.
Then what is the surest way? It is trusting in God’s love and care. While it was still the darkest point of my life and my self-esteem was low, I stumbled on an amazing verse that still helps me till now
…“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you…”
Jeremiah 31:3
thebridgehub.wordpress.com
It was a beautiful revelation I dwelt on. I kept believing the words and imagining how God stood to swear those words, Him having eternal love for me. This makes me feel if the creator has chosen me and then loves me with an everlasting love and draws me to Himself every time then I must be a special person.
This changed my perception about myself; that I am an important person, this boosts my self-esteem significantly.
But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light;
1 Peter 2:9
Your self-esteem may be low, but understanding God’s love for you and trusting in it can boost your self-esteem in ways you can’t imagine.
Read passages that affirm God’s love for you. Then other things you do like the ones I mentioned above can be effective.
You are all fair, my love,
And there is no spot in you.
Songs of Songs 4:7
The kind of self-esteem that you have from trusting in God’s love does not fluctuate; it does you a whole lot of good, makes you less vulnerable to anxiety, to think less of yourself and makes you boast in God’s love for you.
Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!
Life presents us with various options in order to enable us to know our definition, especially during our adolescence stage. This is a stage when we try out new and different things to help discover our niche.
When a person becomes more self-conscious during this stage, they stare at their entity for too long such that it brings to their senses how jumbled their life is if it is not well defined.
I am certain no man wants to be in this state. This is because the state comes with: low self-esteem, uncertainty, a sense of inadequacy, helplessness and blurriness of the future, etc.
While there are many suggestions on how to find a definition for our lives, the best way is to go to the God who created the universe and from whom every thing derives its definition.
By definition, what I mean is our individual purpose. The reason God created a person. There is an unending dissatisfaction in us that can’t be satiated until we know why we exist. While this issue has been flogged several times, it can never be overemphasised because it is the core of everyone here on earth.
…the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named…
Ephesians 3:14-15
Knowing your definition is not so hard, you just need to know how to go about it. You do it by going to your creator through Jesus Christ and by faith to ask him what garden He has put you in to tend and keep. God will definitely speak to you because God has never been known to leave anyone in the dark about their purpose and how to fulfil the purpose step by step.
Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.
Come to God today for your fitting definition, stop living a life of uncertainty, without clarity on the reason for your existence. Know why He has placed you here on earth.
The bridge from here to where God wants you to be is your purpose. It helps you understand why He has created you and makes you walk in it to give him pleasure and bless lives.
I don’t want to hustle And rap empty air In dark darkness. Papa once told me, “Purpose lifts you And makes you soar like eagles When other birds fly” Now, I put the right pegs In their right holes And that’s fine by me.
THE BRIDGE HUB 