The Essential Roles of Fathers in Raising Responsible Men

EriOluwa Bamigbola

The assurance that comes with knowing one has a father is always encompassing. This can be observed most often in the way children, both males and females, feel secure in a place when they can see their father present. Moreover, the guarantee that a male child will be well-nurtured and developed into a mature adult is almost certain if the role of a father is prominent during his formative and youthful days.

From the aforementioned, it is evident that the role of a father is undeniably crucial and should not be underestimated. In this discussion, let’s consider five key roles a father plays in maturing a male child into a responsible man and eventually a good father:

1. Vision Casting

2. Diligence

3. Discipline

4. Love

5. Godliness

• Vision Casting: The extent to which one will succeed in life and the commitment to living a fulfilling life often depend on having a clear vision. A father plays a vital role in helping his offspring lead a purpose-driven life by setting an example through his own actions and choices.

• Diligence: A father’s commitment to his family becomes palpable over time, and his dedication is something that both his family and others can easily perceive. This dedication is demonstrated through the lengths he goes to for his family, the sacrifices he is willing to make, and his strong work ethic in ensuring his family thrives. The way a father provides for his family serves as a valuable lesson for his children, teaching them that a responsible man should not be idle in order to provide for his loved ones.

• Discipline: Discipline is a key factor in determining whether one will lead a fulfilled life or not. A father who lives a disciplined life can effectively guide his children to lead disciplined lives as well, as they can witness firsthand what it means to exercise self-control. Children will also learn the importance of avoiding social vices, resisting peer pressure, and making choices that will positively impact their lives.

• Love: A child who feels their father’s love at home does not need to seek validation from others to lead a life aligned with their values and beliefs. A father is expected to love his children, ensuring that they do not feel the need to seek love at any cost. Discipline should be administered with love, and communication should be rooted in love. When this approach is taken, children will feel comfortable opening up to their father when facing challenges and seeking guidance.

• Godliness: The foundation for living a purposeful life lies in being godly and having a reverence for God. A father is expected to set an example of godliness for his children, as it helps them live lives characterized by integrity and faithfulness. Children who uphold these values will not bring shame to their parents.

In conclusion, the role of a father in shaping godly men cannot be overstated. Fatherhood is a significant influence on a child’s development and eventual character.

The Place of a Father as a Priest of the Home

Silas Bamigbola

You, as a father, occupy a unique and sacred role within your family – that of the spiritual priest of your home. This is a profound responsibility, one that carries immense significance for your family’s well-being and spiritual growth. In this blog post, we will explore your role as the spiritual leader in your household, drawing from the wisdom found in scripture.

Your Role as the Spiritual Overseer:

Your position as a father places you in the role of a gatekeeper for your family’s spiritual journey. While it’s commonly understood that many men seek prayerful women as partners to create a spiritually vibrant home, it’s essential to recognize that your own spiritual leadership is equally vital. Your relationship with God forms the foundation upon which your family’s faith is built.

Lead with the Power of Prayer:

You’ve likely heard children say, “My mother’s prayers keep me going.” But what about your prayers as a father? Don’t underestimate the influence of your own prayers. Your connection with God empowers you to lead your family along the path of righteousness and to cover them with your heartfelt intercession.

The Wisdom of Scripture:

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 (NIV) underscores the weight of your role: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

This scripture emphasizes that you, as a father, must actively instill God’s teachings into your children’s hearts through daily interactions and discussions.

Your Profound Influence:

A 2019 study published in the journal Religious Education revealed that children of born-again Christian fathers had a remarkable 93% chance of becoming born-again Christians themselves. This influence far surpasses the 3% chance for children of non-born-again parents. This study underlines the immense impact fathers have on their children’s faith journeys.

The study found that children of born-again Christian parents were more likely to be born-again Christians themselves, with a 3% chance for children of non-born-again parents, a 36% chance for children of born-again mothers, and a 93% chance for children of born-again fathers. 

-A study published in the journal Religious Education in 2019

Actively Transmitting Faith:

Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) further reinforces your responsibility: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” This verse highlights that you are entrusted with nurturing your children’s faith and ensuring it aligns with God’s Word.

Your Roles as a Father:

In summary, your roles as a father in the position of the priest of your home are profound and multifaceted:

1. Spiritual Leader: You are the spiritual guide of your family.

2. Prayer Warrior: Your prayers are a powerful shield for your loved ones.

3. Teacher of Faith: You impart wisdom and knowledge about God’s love and commandments.

4. Role Model: You set an example of faith and devotion, demonstrating what it means to live a godly life.

5. Protector: You safeguard your family, both physically and spiritually.

In conclusion, as a father, you play an irreplaceable role as the priest of your home. Embrace this sacred duty with love, dedication, and a deep connection with the Divine. Through your commitment to God, your family, and your role as a spiritual leader, you will create a home where faith thrives, and the presence of God is undeniable, enriching your family’s spiritual journey.

The Impact of Failed Fatherhood in Our Society

Paul Ojetayo

“For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons blasphemed God, and he failed to restrain them. (Samuel 3:13, NIV)”

Failed fatherhood is a theme that transcends time, seen both in biblical tales and in today’s communities. By examining the story of Eli and his sons, we can draw parallels between ancient lessons and modern realities.

The Tale of Eli’s Failed Fatherhood

Eli, a priest and judge in ancient Israel, struggled with failed fatherhood. His sons, Hophni and Phinehas, priests like their father, veered into sin. Despite knowing of their transgressions, Eli didn’t correct them. This failure led to severe consequences.

Eli’s story is a poignant example of how parental neglect can have lasting repercussions. He knew of his sons’ wrongdoing but failed to take the necessary corrective actions. This ancient tale serves as a stark reminder that the consequences of failed fatherhood can be far-reaching.

Consequences Echoed in Society

Failed fatherhood’s impact isn’t confined to the Bible. In modern communities, it can lead to a host of societal issues. The absence of responsible father figures can result in increased crime rates, educational challenges, economic hardship, and emotional turmoil for children.

Children growing up without proper paternal guidance may lack the necessary support and structure in their lives. This void can contribute to a sense of aimlessness and vulnerability, often leading to involvement in delinquent activities.

Moreover, failed fatherhood can exacerbate economic disparities. Single-parent households, often led by mothers, may struggle to make ends meet, perpetuating cycles of poverty.

Lessons from Eli’s Story

Eli’s story teaches us the importance of moral guidance and discipline provided by fathers. It shows how failed fatherhood affects not only individual families but entire communities, often persisting through generations. Eli’s inaction in the face of his sons’ misdeeds resulted in divine judgment, highlighting the gravity of parental neglect.

Nurturing Responsible Fatherhood

Addressing failed fatherhood requires a concerted effort from society. Community support, educational programs, and initiatives promoting responsible fatherhood are essential components of the solution.

Encouraging fathers to actively engage with their children, guide them, and instil moral values can break the cycle of failed fatherhood. Fathers should be encouraged to participate actively in their children’s lives, providing emotional support, mentorship, and a positive role model.

Conclusion

Eli’s story in the Bible serves as a timeless reminder of the consequences of failed fatherhood. Its lessons apply to modern societies, emphasizing the need for nurturing responsible fatherhood for healthier families and communities.

The impact of failed fatherhood extends far beyond the individual family unit. It permeates society, contributing to a range of challenges that affect us all. Recognizing the significance of responsible fatherhood and taking proactive steps to support and empower fathers is crucial for building a more stable, prosperous, and harmonious society. By learning from the mistakes of the past, we can strive for a brighter future where every child has the opportunity to grow up with the guidance and love of a responsible father figure.

Talks on Fatherhood and Its Benefits

Adeyinka Boluwatife

Fatherhood emerges as a profound and transformative journey, yielding numerous benefits to both fathers and their children. While it certainly presents its share of challenges, the rewards of fatherhood are immeasurable.

Once, I was told fatherhood unfolds as an opportunity for personal growth and development, but I never saw it more clearly than now as I keep growing into a man who would one day lead his home. It is basically leading yourself first and then leading others. Embracing this role of self-leadership necessitates that men assume new responsibilities and roles, fostering heightened self-awareness, patience, and maturity, having to let go of the hard side and pick up a new characterization. Fathers frequently undergo a transformation, becoming more compassionate, understanding, and adept at managing their time and priorities. Their motivation to serve as positive role models for their children propels personal advancement across various facets of life. One of the most remarkable merits of fatherhood manifests in the profound emotional bond that crystallizes between fathers and their offspring. This bond evolves through shared experiences, love, and unwavering care. Fathers who actively engage with their children from birth craft enduring connections that significantly contribute to the emotional well-being of their offspring. Studies corroborate that children who benefit from the involvement of their fathers often exhibit heightened self-esteem, improved social skills, and enhanced emotional intelligence.

For example, as a child, I saw my father intentionally build a connection with my brother and me. We played basketball games together, tried out restaurants nearby, cooked together, and also took pictures.

I have also become a keen observer and a natural security expert, which has heightened my intelligence, taking note of body language and glances of people, which has saved me from danger in most cases.

Also, fatherhood reverberates to the broader societal well-being. Fathers play a pivotal role in the socialization and spiritual upbringing of their progeny as authority figures, imparting stability, giving affirmation to what God has spoken about them, and blessing in spiritual strength through prayer to battle the woes in their generation. This involvement diminishes the likelihood of delinquency and behavioural issues in the children’s lives. Extensive research has underscored that children reared with actively engaged fathers tend to excel academically and are at reduced risk of substance abuse or criminal activities.

In addition to these emotional and social benefits, fatherhood confers tangible health advantages. Fathers who partake in regular physical activities with their children typically lead more active and healthier lives. They emerge as exemplars of wholesome living, thereby influencing their children’s lifestyle choices and contributing to the healthiness of future generations. Moreover, studies postulate that engaged fathers are prone to experience lower levels of stress and enjoy superior overall mental well-being.

Financially, fatherhood often catalyzes career advancement and fiscal stability. The responsibility of providing for a family galvanizes fathers to pursue career opportunities with heightened diligence. The aspiration to afford a comfortable life for their children fuels their propensity to make judicious financial decisions and investments, potentially securing long-term fiscal stability. I saw my dad do this for five decades, giving it his all, laying an example for us to follow, studying hard overnight to meet the next position, and it sure did pay off as I have carried on with the same pursuit in life. Hard work and diligence with the work of their hands are part of the core values every father should pass on to their children.

Furthermore, fathers make substantial contributions to the equitable division of labour within households. In the ever-evolving landscape of gender roles, a growing number of fathers are actively participating in childcare and household tasks. This paradigm shift not only nurtures a sense of parity and partnership with their spouses but also empowers women to pursue their careers and personal aspirations.

Over the years, we have heard of the term “Alpha Male,” which has boxed in most men and is characterized by men not being able to clean up, do laundry, or even fix up a meal for their home. But in recent times, men have taken the posture of being comprehensive because that is what the world needs. My dad helped me learn this, which has helped me on the journey of being a comprehensive man.

In today’s diverse and dynamic society, regardless of the family configuration, the benefits of fatherhood remain unwavering, underscoring the significance of a father’s emotional presence and active involvement in their child’s life.

In summation, fatherhood bestows a multitude of advantages that ripple beyond the individual, positively impacting families and society at large. It facilitates personal growth, cultivates emotional bonds, and contributes to the physical well-being of fathers, all the while nurturing the wholesome development of children and the overall welfare of communities. As the roles and expectations of fathers continue to evolve, society increasingly recognizes and celebrates their indispensable contributions to the well-being of their children and the broader community. Fatherhood, with its blend of challenges and joys, emerges as a transformative journey that unequivocally enriches the lives of those who embark upon it.

Unlocking Success: How to Find the Perfect Mentor

Silas Bamigbola

In the journey of life, we find ourselves sailing through uncharted waters, surrounded by an open sea of possibilities. Just like ships sailing toward distant horizons, we, as young men, embark on our paths with dreams, aspirations, and the need for guidance. Imagine this vast expanse of life’s ocean as a canvas, painted with experiences waiting to be discovered. And in this sea, mentors are the beacons that light our way, helping us navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.

Anchoring to the Right Mentor: A Nautical Tale

Picture this: On the shore stands an array of ships, each with its crew of seasoned sailors. These sailors have weathered countless storms, ferried countless passengers, and accumulated a treasure trove of experience. They’re the mentors, the guiding lights who have ventured into uncharted territories and emerged wiser for it.

Just like sailors would choose a trusted beacon to guide them through perilous waters, we too must anchor ourselves to the right mentor. So, how do we find them?

Casting the Mentorship Net: Seek and You Shall Discover

Imagine mentorship as a vast sea teeming with knowledge, and you, as a young man, standing on the shore with a net in your hands. To find the right mentor, you must cast that net into the depths of experience and wisdom.

Prayerfully begin your quest by actively seeking mentors, just as sailors set sail in pursuit of new horizons.

Remember the wisdom of Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Seek mentors whose goals and values resonate with yours, for they will be the sparks that ignite your personal and professional growth.

How Do I Find a Mentor? 

Networking: The first step is expanding your professional network. Attend industry events, join relevant online communities, and engage with like-minded individuals. Sometimes, mentors are found in unexpected places. 

Online Platforms: Websites like LinkedIn, professional forums, or even mentorship-specific platforms can be goldmines for finding potential mentors. Connect with people who inspire you and whose experiences resonate with your goals. 

Ask for Introductions: Don’t hesitate to ask your current contacts if they know of someone who could be your mentor. Personal recommendations often lead to meaningful mentorship relationships.

Sailing the Seas of Wisdom: Getting the Best Mentorship

Getting the best mentorship involves recognizing that the journey requires both trust and humility. Just as sailors trust their beacons to guide them through treacherous waters, we must trust our mentors to guide us through life’s challenges.

Proverbs 19:20 reminds us, “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” Embrace guidance with an open heart, and understand that learning from those who have gone before us is a privilege. Be receptive to their wisdom, even when it challenges your preconceived notions.

Navigating with Grace: Being a Better Mentee

Mentorship is a two-way voyage. Just as sailors contribute to the ship’s operation, mentees play a crucial role in the mentorship relationship. Being a better mentee means actively engaging, respecting your mentor’s time and insights, and reciprocating the investment they make in your growth.

In the words of Ephesians 6:2-3, “Honor your father and mother,” which can extend to honouring your mentors. Approach the relationship with humility, gratitude, and a desire to learn. Remember, a ship sails smoother when its crew works in harmony.

Finding Calm in the Storm: Conclusion

Life’s sea is unpredictable, but with the right mentor, we can navigate with confidence. Just as sailors trust beacons to guide them through storms, we too can trust mentors to steer us toward safe harbours. The Bridge Hub can be your guiding light, connecting you with mentors who have walked the path before.

As you set sail on your journey, remember that mentorship is not just about receiving; it’s about giving back. Just as ships sail farther with an experienced crew, your journey will be enriched by the wisdom and insights of those who guide you. So, embrace mentorship, for it’s the wind in your sails and the stars in your night sky.

Mentors As Lifesavers

Mercy Bamigbola

Every human faces the challenge of making decisions every day; some huge and life-changing, others minute. Each of these decisions makes up the entirety of our lives. Decisions can make or mar a person’s destiny. This is why it is necessary to consider them deeply before they are taken. Many times, these decisions need to be made individually and independently. In other cases, there is a need for guidance and direction. This is where the importance of mentors comes in. A mentor is someone who teaches and guides another to move in the right direction. It is important to understand, though, that every one of us needs a mentor, no matter our age, race, or class. In education, in the spiritual aspect, relationships, career, and finances, we have to be able to point to one person who is capable of bringing us back on track. Taking the Bible as our guide, we will consider examples of mentors being lifesavers.

As Christians, the greatest mentor you can have is Jesus. The life and teachings of Jesus Christ are the greatest guides to living a fulfilled life. Jesus, at a very young age, was attentive in the temple; he was able to resist the devil’s temptation; he taught multitudes of people about the importance of the Gospel and also mentored great fathers of the Gospel like Peter, John, and James. Jesus Christ, as a mentor, was a lifesaver to his disciples while he was on earth. We record the story of Peter, who was scared to walk on water but eventually survived with the reassurance he got from Jesus. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshipped him, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.” – Matthew 14:30-33

Jesus, as our mentor, reflects the character of God the Father. When we look to Him, we see what the Father looks like. Jesus saw the disciples in their weaknesses and inadequacies, yet he saw them as worthy of propagating the Gospel. When they were moving toward self-sabotage, He was always there to save them. An example of this is when Simon Peter cut off the ear of the slave in Luke 22:50-51, “And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear. But Jesus said, ‘No more of this!’ And he touched his ear and healed him.” Jesus was there to call him to order. This is the same Jesus Christ who now dwells in us through the Holy Spirit, guiding us along the right path.

Another instance of mentorship in the Bible is the interaction between Samuel and Eli. Samuel, as a young boy, had been entrusted to the care of the priest, Eli. His mother gave him back to God to fulfil a promise she had made to God. However, he could not fulfil that purpose without a mentor. In 1 Samuel 3:1-10, when Samuel slept and heard someone call him, Eli was the one who perceived “that the Lord was calling the boy,” so he taught him to respond by saying, “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.” Samuel moved on to be a useful tool in the hands of God, but we see that Eli was a crucial part of his life. He learned to always listen to God, and this saved him throughout his lifetime.

Finally, as we have seen the examples of these Bible characters, we understand that mentors are an important part of fulfilling our purpose in this world because they will save us from making grievous mistakes.

FOR THE BOYS: We also need mentors.

Silas Bamigbola

We were boys bearing our fathers’ names,

Looking for how to create names for ourselves.

We knew not the way through this ancient terrain;

We wandered off
And drifted away
Getting lost at night under bridges.

Antique boys who have become men Were cruel enough not
To delineate maps for us, that we may use Through this rollercoaster ride.
Yesterday I asked a supposed ‘sage’
How he did it?
He babbled
And shrugged me off.

We are still driving through this tumultuous route Who will lead us?
Who will tell us the stories of
‘When men were boys’

I wish our elderly male
Will become a light
And carry us on their wings
And tell us tales of how they survived. 

This poem, titled “FOR THE BOYS: We also need mentors,” reflects the desire for guidance and mentorship from older male figures by young boys as they navigate the journey from childhood to manhood. The poem highlights the challenges faced by boys in finding their own identities and establishing themselves apart from their fathers’ shadows.

The first stanza talks about the boys seeking to create their own identities and feeling lost as they attempt to navigate the complexities of life (“ancient terrain”). They wander and drift, facing difficulties and uncertainties (“getting lost at night under bridges”).

In the second stanza, the poem mentions “Antique boys who have become men” – referring to older men who were once in the same position as these boys. However, these men were not compassionate enough to provide guidance and mentorship (“cruel enough not to delineate maps for us”). The poet seeks direction and guidance from these experienced individuals but is met with indifference or unhelpfulness.

The third stanza reflects the frustration of seeking advice from a supposed ‘sage’ who offers no real wisdom, merely “babbling” and brushing off the poet’s inquiries. The lack of proper guidance leaves the boys still struggling on this “tumultuous route,” longing for someone to lead them.

The poem concludes with the poet expressing a wish for the elderly male figures to become mentors (“become a light”) and provide support and inspiration (“carry us on their wings”). They are encouraged to share their own life experiences (“tales of how they survived”) to guide the younger generation through the challenges of growing up and becoming men.

Overall, the poem speaks to the universal need for mentorship and guidance during the transition from boyhood to manhood. It emphasizes the importance of experienced individuals sharing their knowledge and stories to help the younger generation find their way and establish their own identities.

Self Control: What It Is and Why It Is Necessary!

Stephen Jerubba’al

It has been said that men are difficult to control. While this thought may hold a context of truth, there is also another side to it—humans are not stable under external control. This is one of the reasons why slavery is a dangerous concept when you talk around people or when a person experiences it. Slavery is the state of being controlled by someone or something against your own intentions or will.

On the flip side, while we should deviate from controlling others and choosing to lead them instead, it is important that we learn to control ourselves. A wise man once said, “Internal vigilance is the pride of liberty.” A man without self-control is like a city without walls—scriptures!

What then is self-control?

Self-control is simply defined as the ability or tendency of a person to put himself or herself under control in order to marshal themselves to what is best for them, based on values and principles. For example, when you say you want to stay off carbonated drinks, it is self-control for you when you are able to stay off areas or environments that will entice you to take any carbonated drink.

Hey! There are numerous profits that are associated with being able to control oneself. There are also consequences for not being able to keep yourself in check without external push. A man once said, “I have decided in my mind that I will not set my eyes on any female lustfully”—that’s a step to self-control.

In a world where anything goes, for those who are poised at moving forward and staying off any lifestyle that will complicate their lives, self-control is a necessary skill. We have heard stories of men who end up regretting actions that they could have avoided in the past. The lack of self-control empties lives of meaning!

The benefits of self-control will be evidenced in the near future. This is because the end is always a revealer, as the present is a revealer of the past. The endpoint reveals what a person has been doing with their lives until that time. Basically, self-control is DISCIPLINE in a situation in spite of what or how you feel about it as long as it does not align with your values.

Self-control and godly relationships!

Twitter and several other social media platforms have been littered with several explanations on why men are not able to control themselves. But the climax of this is that no explanation can explain away your inability to control yourself under situations that contradict your values. It will only reveal your laziness!

When it comes to relationships and marriages, there are values and principles that if upheld will lead to thriving relationships. Values around love, purity, truth, discipline, and so on are expected to be seen in godly relationships. However, there are certain situations that may come to threaten those values, and this is where self-control comes in.

Dear men, the fact that you are engaged to be married is not an excuse to have sexual intercourse with her before the wedding night. The fact that your wife is not around is not a reason at all to be unfaithful to your spouse—you may console yourself with an excuse, but failure to be disciplined plus excuses does not mean success.

Conclusion

In clear terms, self-control is possible, and no one is exempted from it. You either control yourself, which is profitable, or be controlled by yourself, fulfilling its desires—certainly, this is destructive in the long run! Cheers to self-control, men! Cheers to a life with meaning!

The Struggle

Silas Bamigbola

This struggle is akin to a bloodthirsty, parasitic leech that gradually drains a person’s vitality and creativity, transforming their mind into a pawn at the mercy of its master. This pawn is controlled remotely, manipulated to sink deeper into a quagmire that taints their thoughts with filth.

If one battles with pornography, their devices have undoubtedly captured their face, identifying them as a frequent consumer of explicit content. There is even a specific satellite channel that airs pornographic films every Saturday morning around 12 am, and you happen to be an avid viewer.

Over time, the destructive habit of masturbation has clung to you like a dreadful tribal mark, causing remorse for the circumstances that led you to indulge in such behaviour. Each opportunity seized, you gave in to the act, attempting to prove your prowess as a devoted student of the “school masters” (porn stars) and their art.

Pornography has the power to drain the best parts of a person, leaving them entranced, hypnotized, and ensnared in a web of mental chaos. It subjugates you to the point that instead of focusing on important matters or the word of God during moments of solitude, your mind fixates on the explicit content you have consumed. Passing women become triggers, turning your thoughts into a soap opera replaying illicit and amusing scenarios.

When this issue becomes a problem and an addiction, you realize that you are up against a formidable opponent. As the saying goes, “If your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Sadly, you have subjected your eyes to corrupting materials, and despite your efforts, you have been unable to break free from their grip. Frustration and self-disgust have overtaken you.

I understand that feeling, my brother. I truly do. It is a journey and know what it means to want to win.

But take solace in the fact that Jesus Christ, who understands our weaknesses, sacrificed himself for us. We can approach him just as we are, and the healing process will begin. It won’t be easy because we may stumble and fall many times, but even in our moments of weakness, we can cling to Him and trust Him. Through prayer, the word of God, meditation on His teachings, and having a supportive community that holds us accountable, we can overcome. That is:

• Seek Support and Accountability: Reach out to trusted friends, counsellors, or support groups for guidance and accountability.
• Establish Healthy Habits: Replace unhealthy behaviours with positive activities such as exercise, hobbies, and learning new skills. Create a routine that promotes personal growth and reduces idle time.
• Utilize Technology Tools: Install content filtering software, enable parental control settings, and consider utilizing accountability software to track online activities with a trusted partner.
• Prayer and Meditation: Engage in prayer and meditation as a means of finding inner strength, seeking guidance, and cultivating a closer connection with a higher power. Set aside time for reflection, self-discovery, and spiritual growth.

Watching pornography is an insult to our minds. God has blessed us with our minds so that we can use them to think and imagine, foster change, generate great ideas, and find solutions. Tainting our minds with repugnant imagery blinds us, stunts our growth, and hinders our path to success.

Silas Bamigbola (Originally written in 2017)

Self-Controlled Men

Silas Bamigbola

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, it is more important than ever for us to reflect on our values and strive to be self-controlled individuals. Lately, the Nigerian Twitter space has been plagued with scandals of men who betray their wives through infidelity, while society often turns a blind eye or even accepts such behaviour. However, as men, we must understand that faithfulness and self-control are virtues that define our character and honour our responsibilities. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of self-control and discuss practical ways we can cultivate faithfulness in our lives.

Embracing Our Divine Calling:

As young men, it is essential to anchor our beliefs and actions in a higher purpose. In the Holy Scriptures, God calls upon us to be self-controlled and faithful. Proverbs 25:28 reminds us, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Similarly, Galatians 5:22-23 highlights the importance of self-control as one of the fruits of the Spirit. By embracing our divine calling, we can develop the strength to resist temptations and uphold our commitments.

Recognizing the Fallacy of Excuses:

Society often perpetuates the misguided notion that men are inherently polygamous and therefore bound to cheat on their partners. However, it is crucial to challenge such misconceptions. True strength lies in exercising self-control, resisting the allure of momentary gratification, and prioritizing our commitment to our loved ones. While external influences may present various temptations, we have the power to make conscious choices based on our values and principles. Excusing infidelity only perpetuates a culture of betrayal, undermining the trust and stability within our relationships.

Building a Foundation of Trust:

To be self-controlled men, we must recognize that trust forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Infidelity erodes trust and breeds insecurity, leading to pain and discord. Therefore, we must prioritize open communication, honesty, and transparency in our interactions with our partners. By consistently demonstrating our faithfulness and reliability, we nurture a bond built on trust. This foundation enables our relationships to flourish, bringing joy, stability, and fulfilment to both ourselves and our loved ones.

Practical Steps towards Faithfulness:

Cultivating self-control and faithfulness requires intentional effort. Here are some practical steps we can take:

1. Define your values: Clearly articulate your personal values and principles, ensuring they align with your commitment to faithfulness.

2. Practice self-reflection: Regularly evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions, identifying areas where you may be vulnerable to temptation.

3. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries within your relationships, ensuring you communicate and respect each other’s needs and expectations.

4. Seek accountability: Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who will hold you accountable and support your journey towards self-control.

Dear young men, let us reject the narrative that condones infidelity and embrace our divine calling to be self-controlled and faithful. Upholding our commitments to our partners and ourselves not only brings us closer to God but also strengthens the fabric of our relationships and society as a whole. By actively cultivating self-control, honouring trust, and nurturing open communication, we can become the embodiment of integrity and inspire positive change in our communities. Remember, true strength lies in choosing faithfulness over momentary pleasures and being men of honour who walk in the path of righteousness.

• 
  Honouring Our Fathers
• 
  The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man