THE BRIDGE HUB FIRST HANGOUT

After Lost Boys got published on the 27th of August 2017, this idea of having opportunities to have conversations on what the book addressed and more around boyhood, maleness, and manhood danced in my mind. Ever since, my mind has played scenes of me sitting down with other men to talk, yea talk because the truth is, most men are not comfortable with talking, with being vulnerable because they prefer to suck things in and let them fester. But, I have been thinking how would it be if men of all ages are willing to hang out and talk and find solace in themselves through God, would we turn out better? If we can have these #MeToo moments and realise we actually are going through almost the same things and even if we try to hide that fact, we actually need help, direction, and satisfaction that we are part of something big that can make us be who God has created and designed us to be.

The desire for this birthed The Bridge HUB on the 27th of August, 2020. It is a hub where activities and everything will be done to cause paradigm shifts in the minds of males and let them know that things can be done better if they can allow God to transform their minds and show them the main reason he created the man as an entity.

On the 5th of December will be our first Hangout and it is vital because history will be made on that day.

Our Focus: Real Conversations on Purpose

Time Interval: 2:45 pm – 5:00 pm.

Keynote Speaker: IfeOluwa Fatoki

Venue: Ogbomoso.

The bridge from here to where God wants you to be is your purpose. That is why you need to understand why He has created you so that you can walk in it to give him pleasure and bless lives.

Register here: http://bit.ly/thebridgehub

Knowing your purpose is not so hard, you just need to know how to go about it. You do it by going to your creator through Jesus Christ and by faith to ask him what garden He has put you in to tend and keep. God will definitely speak to you because God has never been known to leave anyone in the dark about their purpose and how to fulfil the purpose step by step.

We hope the hangout answers the questions on purpose so that participants understand their purpose well, learn practical steps on how to do that and fulfil our purpose to glorify God.

We will have an Open Discussion where we shall share our heart on How to Deal with the Feelings of Inadequacy as Males, have a Panel Discussion session with three incredible young men, we shall listen to God’s word, pray, play games and break bread together.

The Hangout is to have a non-judgmental atmosphere where we can be ourselves, have a real connection and share what is bothering us, and be willing to help one another through the help of God to get better.

I am elated and anticipate to fellowship and have fun with great men.

HOPE IN HOPELESS SITUATIONS

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Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like just giving up? Where you feel you’ve had enough and throwing in the towel seemed like the best option?

I believe that most of us have found ourselves in that state. That state where things are not working the way they should. Also, you don’t feel you can do anything to change the situation. Hope deferred wearies the soul and to hold on can be hard.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

While it’s normal to feel like giving up, God is expecting that we find hope in those hopeless situations.
In a country like Nigeria where things aren’t working the way we want it to, it is easy to lose hope. Where the government we elected makes things difficult for the citizens. Where those put in place to protect us shred our security daily and even kill us, the youths; most especially young men.
The system does not work well and some of the armed forces are also the beasts created from this failed system and in turn, they extort young Nigerians trying to make the best of their circumstances.

Although we understand there are bad eggs out there, the truth is, we believe that things can still be done better. We can still have a life where we feel safe; we enjoy our basic human rights, even the freedom to live, most especially from people whose job is to protect us. Nigerians have had enough of the mediocre and failed system.

• Honouring Our Fathers
• The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man

I remember how I felt on the first of October; this is how I felt and the question I asked on that day, “As much as I know Nigeria is my country and it can still be great again, I don’t have any enthusiasm to celebrate her today. No matter how much I try, that feeling to just wish her or be happy for her sixtieth anniversary is not there. I still have hope in a better Nigeria but I can’t fake that there is something much to celebrate her for. I don’t know but that’s the feeling I have and I don’t know if it’s right or not. How can I have a better perception of Nigeria?”

thebridgehub.wordpress.com

So while it’s easy to give up, we can still find hope that Nigeria can be better. I’m glad we the youths are rising, we know that our voice is potent to ask for what we want. It is a movement you should join. As we pray and protest to demand the end of SARS, as we ask for a new Nigeria, a Nigeria where all we hope for becomes a reality, we shall win.

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3 -4

So what’s that hopeless situation you are going through now? God is telling you not to lose hope, God wants you to speak to him and take the necessary actions he’s instructing you to take for things to turn around.

You can’t just burn out when you can still fan to flame the remaining light in you.

You will win, Nigerians will win! We will! By the grace of God.

WHAT GOD’S LOVE DOES TO YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

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Last year, I went through one of the darkest moments of my life. I did not love myself nor believe that I will ever amount to something or someone better in life. It affected my self-esteem. 

The depression was deep and it persisted for months. It was a phase I will never wish on anyone. Although it’s a phase that we sometimes go through. 

I don’t know what lies we believe about ourselves that rip us of our self-esteem or make us feel less of what God says we are but I know the struggle can be so real and hard.

Yesternight,

the moon hid behind a curtain,

the stars cried then failed to appear,

and the dark night sank

into another bland black darkness.

For men, our self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect mean a lot to us. It informs people’s perception of who we are. If our perception is not strong, it weakens our hearts and lives and makes us feel inadequate. No man wants to feel inadequate.

The question now is, does our faith or trust in God’s love and care buffer low self-esteem or better put, can that make us feel better about ourselves?

I know we have gone through a lot in life, the ups and downs and the many blows life jabs at us, but what has been your best way for combating life?

For me all those times I went through those dark moments, I tried many things: reading books, being with someone special, and trying to imagine a better tomorrow, making positive affirmations as well as identifying and developing my competencies. 

While they may work they only did little because those solutions seem fickle.

Then what is the surest way? It is trusting in God’s love and care. While it was still the darkest point of my life and my self-esteem was low, I stumbled on an amazing verse that still helps me till now

…“Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you…”

Jeremiah 31:3

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It was a beautiful revelation I dwelt on. I kept believing the words and imagining how God stood to swear those words, Him having eternal love for me. This makes me feel if the creator has chosen me and then loves me with an everlasting love and draws me to Himself every time then I must be a special person. 

• Honouring Our Fathers
• The Power of Honour
• Identifying a Wise Man

This changed my perception about myself; that I am an important person, this boosts my self-esteem significantly.

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light;

1 Peter 2:9

Your self-esteem may be low, but understanding God’s love for you and trusting in it can boost your self-esteem in ways you can’t imagine. 

Read passages that affirm God’s love for you. Then other things you do like the ones I mentioned above can be effective.

You are all fair, my love,

And there is no spot in you.

Songs of Songs 4:7

The kind of self-esteem that you have from trusting in God’s love does not fluctuate; it does you a whole lot of good, makes you less vulnerable to anxiety, to think less of yourself and makes you boast in God’s love for you.

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!

1 John 3:1

TEARS OF HISTORY…

Arike:

Baami who is that woman

Whose wailings fill our ears

Whose anguish silence the birds?
Father:

That is Itan

Mourning for her lost children 

Her sons and daughters

Her hope and life 
Arike:

Isn’t she the mother of Oduduwa the great warrior?
Father:

Yes she is . Oduduwa the great warrior

The brave and fearless man 

I remember the wars he fought for us 

Fought for our freedom 

Stood up to the white gods in our land

Alas! He is now a terror to chickens

Dreams are his battlefield 

Vituperates before his television and newspaper

His victory ends on the cushion 

A cripple that can’t stand to defend his name, identity future, and honour 
Arike:

Surely Akanbi the great farmer is alive to feed his mother.
Father:

Arike your memory amaze me

Akanbi the great farmer son of the land

His bare hands soothes the land 

As he brings her to delivery 

To deliver her of her fruits and tidings 

Out of his abundance 

He feeds the lizards in his house 

His kinsmen  in ivory coast 

He fed for years 

Akanbi  is now a scavenger 

Who waits in line to eat 

Bits and bits from long nosed men 

Akanbi begs in the street 

Depending on biscuits and indomie 

He grovels for food from strangers 

I pity him when I pass by him 

His face distorted by hunger 

Akanbi waits/looks abroad and not below 

For his satisfaction 
Arike:

What a tragedy the death of living sons Baami Segilola nko? I know a daughter will never forsake her mother 
Father:

Segilola eleyinjuege

The great jewel

Pride of her mother 

Fear of all wives

The groaning in men’s groin 

Lusted after by white men 

Segilola sold her pride for fashion 

Her royal beads for dollars 

Her beauty for sophistication

Her culture for civilization 
Arike:

Indeed Itan has lost so much . A great mother abiyamo ni 
Father:

Where did you see Itan was it on your way to the stream ?

 

Arike:

Baami it was not on my way to the stream nor on my way to the farm. 

I saw her in the wrinkles on Iya agba’s face 

I saw her beneath the dark soil Upon which she was once celebrated 

In the ancient tattoo on maami’s hand 

In your tribal marks 
Father:

Such is the life of history Itan 

Who cries and weeps

For her past conquests and victories. 
Such is  the plight of Nigeria a great mother with glorious children. 
Her Oduduwa Akanbi Segilola are no more .
Listen again as she wails 
How old is Nigeria, dimeji?
TEARS OF HISTORY 

by Adediran Adetutu. 
P .S 

A  Thought provoking poem of our past. A past that can fuel our present and lighten our dim future.

Don’t give up on Nigeria, it can still be a better place for us if you are ready to work and trust (in God).  
Comment : this is a wonderful poem written by my friend Adediran Adetutu, it’s a poem that takes us to the past and still keep us abreast with the present matters on ground. I hope we are encouraged by this?  

Enough of inaction, our little positive actions have a way of bringing Nigeria to the place it should be. 
May God bless Nigeria and take us to the right place he has prepared for us. 

Amen
Happy Independence Day friends. 
God bless you real good.